FOR SECOND WIVES ONLY

Over the weekend I was having a rather interesting conversation with my cousin about settling down. I had asked when she was finally going to introduce me to her fiancee. I was only evading the question myself as she constantly bugged me with the same issue. Looking rather unsettled, it was obvious she was not seeing anyone in particular. So I went on to inquire what had become of all the men she had told me about in the past.

After what seemed like eternity, she disclosed to me that one of her suitors was married and the other was engaged to be married. I could tell from her countenance that the issues she had with both of them were resolvable if they were patient enough. She agreed with me and admitted she still felt something deep for one of them but there was nothing she could do about it.

And I asked her “Would you like to become a second wife?” Her blank gaze was enough for me to come to the conclusion that she is not ready to share her man with anyone. A lot of women share the same sentiment as my cousin. Most women don’t want to be ‘the other woman’. It was far more acceptable in the past for an African man to have more than one wife (Both my paternal and maternal grandfathers had three each) but not anymore.

Today, it is has become increasingly difficult for women to share their husbands. No little girl grows up with a dream of becoming a second wife. Even the ones who are compelled to, certainly don’t share them in equal halves. So it got me thinking, why is it so difficult for a single girl to marry a married man?

First and foremost, it takes a single woman with plenty of guts to fall in love with a married man. However, the game becomes more dangerous when she decides to marry him. This is because there is a tendency for the relationship to go out of hand.

A single woman decides to become a second wife to a wealthy man in spite of the abject horror of the polygamous arrangement. I am assuming you already know that love was the least on her agenda. No single woman no matter how crazy she is becomes a second wife just because of love. My people would say, if you must eat a toad, you must eat one laden with eggs.

The first wife is not always a fool. So, the second wife should have no business acting like an angel and hoping that everything will fall in place. The first lady will most certainly declare a total war on you for invading her territory. She knows you are on a mission and she will stop at nothing to make it impossible.

A second wife should not attempt to measure up to the first wife. It can be quite a challenge but obsessing over the woman that was there before you can be unhealthy and will only cause more problems for you. Also, the insecurity created by the man taking a second wife causes the first wife to harbour resentment which is then transferred to her children.

A second wife is solely responsible for her future and that of her children if she is lucky to have any. Her children’s need comes after that of the children of the first wife and the husband’s finances are never equally divided between the two wives

Another problem faced by a second wife is the way she is perceived at family gatherings where you and the first wife may have to battle for popularity. In reality the second wife has to be willing to win the family members over by making some concessions.

Terrible things can happen to second wives. Any second wife who is not equipped for the battle will end up playing the fool. It is sometimes better when they even have the support of the in-laws. In the absence of such reinforcement, she is pitted against the first wife, the in-laws, the husband and the mistresses (Yes, you are not the last mistress standing) to mention but a few. Surprise, surprise! Life is not just you and your husband.

You can blame the first wife for not keeping the husband happy enough or blame the second wife for trapping the innocent man when she knew he was already married. However you look at it, it is difficult to justify whether a man needs a second wife in the first place.

#HappiestManInTheWorld

THOU ART LOOSED: POWERFUL QUOTES ON LETTING GO AND MOVING ON

One of the hardest lessons is letting go. Whether it is guilt, love, anger, loss or betrayal. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Letting go of someone or something that you can't change and giving yourself peace of mind is a very important ingredient to having a beautiful life.

I have highlighted 25 powerful quotes that would help in letting go and moving on.

1. You don’t realize the heaviness of what you have been carrying until you feel the weight of its release. Sometimes you have to let some things go, so there is room for something better in your life. 
2. You have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life. Letting go of them is hard but holding unto them is impossible. 
3. Sometimes you need to walk away, not to let someone else realize how worthy you are but for you to understand and acknowledge your own self worth. 
4. You have to let go of your fears to catch your destiny.
5. Sometimes you have to do something you have never done before, in order to have something you have never had. 
6. Distance yourself from some people. If they care, they will notice but if they don’t you will know where you stand.
7. Sometimes you have to let go of the people you want, in order to get the people you need. 
8. Sometimes it’s better to let go of someone that we care about, not because we really want to; but because we care about their happiness more than ours. 
9. There are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need to grow. 
10. You have to let go of toxic people because all they do is take, take and take; leaving you empty. 
11. Sometimes you have to let go of something precious in order to get something priceless. 
12. You have to be strong enough to let go and be patient enough to wait for what you deserve. 
13. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone, the more they want to get away. You have to realize that true freedom comes from letting go of the difficult things. 
14. Sometimes we have to let go of what is killing us even if it’s killing us to let them go. 
15. Sometimes you have to let go and be free. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. 
16. Sometimes you just have to let go of what is gone, appreciate what still remains and look forward to what is coming. 
17. One of the most rewarding moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change. 
18. Sometimes it’s better to push someone away, not because you don’t love them but because you have to shield yourself from pain. 
19. Sometimes you just have to run away so that you can see who will run after you. 
20. Sometimes you have to learn from your past mistakes, even though you can’t change it; you will know better next time not to settle for less than what you deserve.
21. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak, it only means you are strong enough to let go of what you are not worthy of.
22. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do; because sometimes you mean nothing to someone who means everything to you. It’s not pride, it’s called self respect. 
23. Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. 
24. Sometimes we have to forgive, not because they deserve it; but because they need it, because we need it, and because we cannot let go and move forward without it.

I hope that this helps you as you chart a new and hopefully happier course in your life.

NIGERIA'S PETROLEUM MINISTER EMERGES FIRST EVER FEMALE PRESIDENT OF OPEC

Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) has appointed Nigeria’s Minister of Petroleum Resources, Mrs Diezani Alison- Madueke, as newest president. Diezani was elected at the 166th General Meeting of the organization held on Thursday in Vienna Austria

 Alison-Madueke, who makes history as the first female to be elected into the office, was elected just as members of OPEC began their meeting at the headquarters of the group in in Vienna, Austria.

She succeeds Libyan Vice-Prime Minister for Corporations, Abdourhman Atahar Al-Ahirish. Until her election, Mrs. Alison-Madueke, who would serve for one year, was OPEC’s alternate president.

She is expected to commence work immediately to pilot the affairs of the organization at a time members are coming together to find ways of curbing falling global crude oil prices, which dropped to about $73.07 per barrel on Wednesday.

Mrs. Alison-Madueke was born 1960, the same year OPEC was established. She was formerly Minister of Transport from 2007 to 2008 and subsequently appointed Minister of Mines and Steel from 2008 to 2010. She became Minister of Petroleum Resources in 2010 as Nigeria’s first female Petroleum Minister.

ONYEMA ELECTED PRESIDENT OF AFRICAN SECURITIES EXCHANGES ASSOCIATION

The African Securities Exchanges Association has elected the CEO of the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE), Oscar Onyema, as President of the body the association’s 18th Annual General Meeting held in Diana, Kenya. The association also elected Karim Hajji, the CEO of Casablanca Stock Exchange (CASA) as its new Vice President.

Onyema who had previously served as the Deputy President of ASEA, will work with members of the committee to fulfill the mission and vision of the association. They will do this by focusing on four key strategies. These include strengthening the Association’s governance, financial and reporting framework; promoting the sustainable development of African capital markets; facilitating an increase in market access at the regional level, and promote cross-listing among African exchanges; and aligning the goals of African capital markets with those of the African Development Bank (AfDB). 

Other members of the committee include the Bourse Régionale des Valeurs Mobilières (BRVM), The Egyptian Exchange (EGX), Johannesburg Stock Exchange (JSE), Lusaka Stock Exchange (LuSE), The Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) and Zimbabwe Stock Exchange.

Onyema became the president of the Nigeria Stock Exchange in April 2011 and has helped the exchange grow in capitalization and status. Under his leadership, the NSE was recently named a member of the World Federation of Exchanges (WFE).

On the regional level, Onyema serves as the Chairman, West African Capital Market Integration Council, Chairman of Central Securities Clearing System Plc (CSCS) and council member of the Chartered Institute of Stockbrokers of Nigeria (CIS).

In 2009, Mr. Onyema founded Market Strategists LLC and consulted under the Gerson Lehrman Group platform in the United States, successfully enabling decision-makers at investment firms and corporations to understand financial products, services, companies, and issues in global financial markets. 

He served as the senior vice president and chief administrative officer at American Stock Exchange (Amex), which he joined in 2001. He was the first person of colour to hold that position, and was instrumental in integrating the Amex equity business into the NYSE Euronext equity business after the latter’s acquisition of Amex in 2008. He then managed the NYSE Amex equity trading business, which he helped position as a premier market for small and mid-cap securities.

Mr. Onyema holds an MBA, Finance and Investment from City University of New York, Baruch College and a degree in Computer Engineering from Obafemi Awolowo University.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR

By the way, the topic of this post is one of my most favourite quotes of all times. I have not come across a lot of phrase that is this liberating. It simply captures the essence of what fear has done and can do to everyone of us. We have our dreams bubbling inside of us until we fear sets in and blows them right in our faces. 

One of the greatest battles we fight in life is the one not to fail. Those who don’t win are the ones who stopped fighting. For the better part of my sojourn in this world, I have come to understand that extreme failures can end up becoming huge successes in life. 

Some of the greatest success stories to ever come out of this world are the ones of people who once failed woefully but never gave up. Every time they failed, they moved one step closer to success. The most endearing people I know are those who have known failure and suffering yet they found their way out of those depths.

There are instances where you can be so overwhelmed by failure that your options are either to fight back or let the consequence of your failure kill you. Unfortunately, some people choose the latter.

It is your reaction to failure that will give birth to the revolution your life needs. You must hate failure with a passion in order to strive for success. Always learn to say to failure “You have beaten me up till this moment but not anymore”. Until you address failure properly, you cannot arrest it totally.

The best way to fight failure is to fight as if your life depends on it; and in fact it does. Putting up very little resistance may not yield the right results. Failure is like a monster, it will continue to keep you down until you become aggressive enough to kill it.

Success is not for the gentle or the submissive. This is not just a statement, it’s a fact. Successful people may dress in three piece suits and act courteous but I bet you they can get dirty when failure stirs them in the face.

If at forty years of age you still haven’t accomplished anything in life, it’s time you get angry with your situation and fight. There is still enough time to make something out of your life because your life will only measured by what you achieved and not when you did. Don’t get discouraged by that “a fool at forty a fool forever” catchphrase, your life is not over until it is over.

Stop condemning or comforting yourself for having tried, do all you can to win. Nobody gets a pass for how many times they have attempted an examination. It’s normal to feel discouraged but it’s your choice to be a failure. No one is interested in your past failures, stop recounting them already. Forget the things that are behind you and press towards the mark that is set before you.

In conclusion, the fight is not against those around you, your forefathers or God. It is against those things that are in you which have been preventing you from moving forward. It is against your negative attitude and self-defeating personality. Always remember that nobody was born to be a failure. We can all succeed in life if we show a great amount of determination. Failure can be your greatest gift.


#HappiestManInTheWorld

FRIENDSHIP: SEPARATING THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF

Before the advent of social media, we used to have real friends and real relationships. These relationships were built on sacrifice and nurtured on mutual trust. When you say someone was your friend, it literally meant they were your family. Their loyalty was unquestionable and though as humans they may fall short but they never give up on you.

Today, it’s hard to tell who your real friends are and who is really in a relationship with you. Your friends are not necessarily the ones who chat with you the most or the ones who like your pictures, comment on anything you post or write on your wall on your birthday. These actions are worth appreciating but we don’t have to get too carried away by the gesture that we fail to see its shallowness. True friendship is built in the real world and over a period of time.

Social media makes us put our trust in friends that haven’t earned to be so called. People become your friends or start off relationships with you on the various social media platforms for various reasons. There are those whose insecurities make it difficult for them to interact with you in real life, those who are reconnecting with you after a long time and others who are mostly strangers that take advantage of the access they have to you.

These virtual relationships can lead to positive outcomes in some cases but only few of them lead to happy endings. Most of them become selfish, dangerous, embarrassing and sometimes fatal.

The purpose of this article is to help you distinguish understand what true friendship is and to encourage you to invest more time to pursuing real lasting relationships. I am not entirely against virtual relationships but it’s safer to relate with the wheat than the chaff.


A Follower Is Not A Friend
It is important at this point to distinguish between a friend and a follower. I will simply put it this way, a follower is someone who has not really earned the right to be called a friend. A friend is like silver, you can’t tell their true value until they have gone through fire with you.

People admire and follow you on social media because they perceive you in a certain way. But most of them will not be patient enough to support you when the need arises. It takes more than just following someone to become their friends; you have to pay the price.


Your Friend Is Your Family
Being friends with someone makes you a part of his or her family. The parents look out for you as if you were their child and the siblings and even extended family members took you as one of their own.

Growing up, I had many fathers, mothers and countless siblings. What one family lacked, the other made up for. Every holiday is shared among my numerous family members. This experience shaped my life and gave me a broader view of life.

Youths of today miss out on all of these because social media has created a false enclave that has swallowed them up. They spend more time online with virtual contacts than with real people thus creating an indelible vacuum.


Only Real Friends Can Tell You The Truth
Truth is like fire, it refines every relationship. Your friends are the ones who would tell you the truth no matter the circumstance. They say it in such a way that the love in their voice overrides whatever impact the truth leaves in your heart. The truth hurts but everyone needs to hear it quite often.

Most of what you come across on social media are calculated deceit. People mislead you on everything. They put up appearances to get your attention with little or no regard for truth. If you want to find out about someone, the last place you should look is on a social media platform.


A Real Friend's Love Is Evergreen
Your true friends do not need to tell you they love you because you can always feel it every time you around them. You are indebted to them for life because they go out of their way to give you their best. True friends are priceless and they are very rare to find.

I know a couple of people who have found love on social media but most of it played out in real life. However, it is important to note that due to the nature of the social media platforms, desire can painted in colours of love and does fade as fast as it blossoms.


Real Friends Can't Hurt You Deeply
Forgiveness is another key element of friendship. If someone says they are your friend and have done nothing wrong against you, it is one of two things; they are either pretending or you haven’t been friends for too long. Friends don’t go out of their way to hurt one another but sometimes their humanity gets the best of them. The ability to forgive your friends who trespass against you is the hallmark of a great friendship.


Real Friends Help You Discover Yourself
With your true friends you are real. They don’t compel you to be more or less of who you truly are. They do not judge you and simply accept you the way you are. They know all our flaws and weaknesses yet they see your value and encourage you to be the best.

By virtue of its nature, majority of the things on social media are make-believe. Everyone tries to outshine the other leaving those who can’t compete to deceit. It’s even more disturbing when you see people you know in real life become so transformed. Honestly, social media basically takes you far and far away from true self. Sometimes this can be a good thing and other times it might not be too good.

Every Real Friend is Unique No two of your friends are the same; they are all special in their own way and complement you absolutely. They fill a void in your life such their absence makes you incomplete. You might be able to adjust to life without them but there would be that constant reminder that once upon a time they rocked your world.


Real Friends Can be Lost and Found 
Friendship never dies a natural death. It only ends because you fail to replenish its source due to selfishness or carelessness. There is always that point in your life where you become too busy for the people that care about you. Your ambition becomes more important leaving your friends starving for your attention.

Not everyone will understand what you are going through and after a while they will seek new alliances. Never neglect your real friends because when the chips are down they are the only ones left to pull you back up.

The attachment to friends on social media is not as strong as the one with real friends. And very little value is placed on the numerous friends you have there. It’s hard to know how many friends you have left and sometimes you don’t care.


Real Friends Live Forever
When you lose a friend to death, a part of you slowly goes with them. And the scars they leave in your life will never go away because they are just irreplaceable. They leave a place in your heart that will never be filled and even in your finest moment you will know it that something is missing.

#HappiestManInTheWorld

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES THAT WILL HELP YOU OVERCOME DISAPPOINTMENT

Throughout life, you are faced with several disappointments. And maybe you are dealing with one right now. Whether something in your work or business didn’t go as planned, whether someone you trusted and loved let you down, whether your life isn’t where you want it to be – life just seems to have a way of kicking us when we’re already down.

Disappointment is not an easy thing to face, but standing strong in the face of disappointment and rising afterwards is crucial to living a beautiful life. Here are some quotes on disappointment that will help restore your hope.

“There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums”

―Michael J. Fox

“Present; that part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope”

―Ambrose Bierce

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it”

―Eliza Tabor

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment”

―Henry David Thoreau

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope”

―Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Not every disappointment is a blessings. Some disappointments are lessons - lessons on how not to trust certain people ”

―Anonymous

“The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality”

―Conan O'Brien

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love”

―Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility”

― Thomas S. Monson

“Disappointment is a sticky one, because no one can steal contentment, joy, gratitude, or peace - we have to give it away”

―Kristin Armstrong

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed” 

―Alexander Pope

“You may be disappointed if you fail but you are doomed if you don’t try”

―Beverly Sills

“Disappointments are just God’s way of saying “I have got something better”. Be patient…live life”

―Anonymous

“One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.” 

― Alain de Botton

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want can be the best for you”

―Anonymous

“Be calm and strong and patient. Meet failure and disappointment with courage. Rise superior to the trials of life, and never give in to hopelessness or despair. In danger, in adversity, cling to your principles and ideals”

―Sir William Osler 

“Most things disappoint till you look deeper”

―Graham Greene

“These slight disappointments are sent to prepare. For what may hereafter befall; for seasons of real disappointment and care, which commonly happen to all”

―Jane Taylor

“What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are your mercies in disguise?”

―Anonymous

“When you learn to accept instead of expect, you'll have fewer disappointments”

―Anonymous

“Disappointment and failure are two of the surest ways to ensure that we are approaching to success and just have to keep trying”

―Anurag Prakash Ray

“It is better to know and be disappointed than never to know and wonder”

―Anonymous

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream and how you handle disappointment along the way”

―Robert Kiyosaki

“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments”

―Henry Ward Beecher 

“Man must be disappointed with the lesser things of life before he can comprehend the full value of the greater”

―Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton 

THE LAMENTATIONS OF A LOVERHOLIC

All my life I have been searching for someone to love me, someone who would make me complete. I kept wondering if somehow that person was also searching for me

When we first met, my world was not what it is today. You brought my world to order with your sweetness. I have finally met an angel on this earth. I remember how I was so in love with you. You said you felt the same way about me. The problem with love is, you can truly love anyone you want but so can the other person

When you said that we would be together forever, I thought that meant till the day one of us died. Now, I guess forever isn’t as long as it used to be. Everything was going smoothly until you were no longer there to catch me. Your steadfast love ceased and your affection came to an end

You became a god who sat upon some imaginary throne and doled out love in small portions, only when you feel like. Your lips were filled with so many lies and fooling me became your greatest pleasure. I gradually lost faith in the man I treasured and trusted

You gave me so much joy and now I cannot control the depth of the wound you inflicted on my soul. You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes. I don't hate you for not loving me anymore, but I hate myself for still loving you and my heart doesn't know how to stop loving you

When you have loved a man unconditionally and lost that love, it leaves a scar that will never heal. It was hard to accept the loss of you but it was harder to move on without you. If I should die tonight and the reason remains unknown, tell not the whole world, but the one I love that I died of a broken heart, not because he loved me too little but because I loved him too much

I am a woman who has seen the sufferings that comes from loving a man. I have gotten to that point where I know that no man will really love me. I have learned to keep myself away from men because I will eventually get rejected.  They will only tolerate so much of me before they walk away

Where is God? But what right do I have to complain after I have sinned against him with my body. He is a just God and his grace has deserted me now. I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings. I have submitted my heart to God. His faithful love never ends 

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO A LOVERHOLIC (PART 2)

You are going to do so many foolish things in the name of love, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

Fall in love with yourself first. So that it will be easy for you to fall in love with someone else.

It takes the same capacity to fall in love as it will take to be alone. If you are capable of falling in love, it also means you are capable of being on your own.

Never go in search of love because you won’t find it. Love is never lost; we are the ones who always seem lost.

If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.

Don't struggle to make them notice your presence. Just make sure your absence will be felt tremendously.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO A LOVERHOLIC

Sometimes it’s hard to tell why you love someone so deeply because some answers are never enough. The reason for loving someone changes over time and in many ways.

When you love someone so much, their mistakes never change your feelings from them because it is the mind that gets angry but the heart always cares

You fall in love with someone not because of how you feel about them but because of how they make you feel about yourself.

When someone truly loves you, they don’t have to say a word. You will be able to tell simply by their actions. A person can say “I love you” a million times but never take it to heart until they prove it.

Sometimes the person you are willing to take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun. Falling in love can sometimes be a risk because you never know what the end may bring. However, the end of love is not the end of life.

Don’t try to make the person you love do the things they don’t want to do. Because you will probably end up feeling bad for yourself and eventually fall out of love with them. True love starts where manipulation stops.

You can fall in love with someone who will be a blessing to your life or fall in love with someone who will teach you the lesson of your life. Either way, never regret falling in love. Love sometimes leaves you for a reason but never leaves you without a lesson.

We all have our shortcomings and are all far from been perfect. Never judge someone you love based on their weaknesses but ensure you uphold their strength and try to help them work on their weaknesses.

You may have to fall in love with awful people once or twice, so that you would be able to appreciate your true love when it comes around.

As an exceptionally jealous lover, you only amplify your insecurities and no amount of reassurance from your partner can help you. Love is not for the faint-hearted.

It takes the same amount of effort in giving your heart to someone and in taking them out of your heart. Always be double sure before you walk away from love.

We all fall in love hoping that the one we give our hearts to look beyond our imperfections and love us the way we are. So we should do likewise by loving them unconditionally.

The day you decide to commit your life to someone, you have decided to look beyond yourself and put that person’s interest ahead of yours at all times.

Be true to your partner even if you cannot be true to yourself. It’s in being true to others that we find the purest kind of love, the kind that never dies even in death.

Always keep in mind that you cannot beseech someone to love you or plead with them to stay when they choose to walk away. The greatest gift you can bestow on someone you love is the freedom of being who they want to be.

Lastly my brethren, if you haven’t found true love yet, don’t give up. There is someone out there waiting to love you just the way you are. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but they are always worth the wait.


#HappiestManInTheWorld

SOME AMAZING FACTS ABOUT NIGERIA THAT MOST NIGERIANS DON'T KNOW

Here are some facts about Nigeria that most Nigerians have never heard about:

1. Nigeria is home to seven percent of the total languages spoken on earth. Taraba State alone has more languages than 30 African countries put together. The importance of this fact is more appreciated when one understands that language is the 'soul of culture'

2. South Eastern Nigeria is the densest area in Africa after the Nile Valley in Egypt.

3. Nigeria has the highest rate of twin births in the world. Igbo-Ora, a little town in Oyo State has been nicknamed Twin Capital of the World because of its unusually high rate of twins that is put as high as 158 twins per 1000 births.

4. Nigeria is divided into three by two Rivers.

5. Africa's oldest known boat is the Dufuna Canoe which was discovered in Dufuna village, Yobe State, by a Fulani herdsman in May 1987, while he dug a well in his compound. Various radio-carbon tests conducted in laboratories of reputable universities in Europe and America indicate that the canoe is over 8000 years old, thus making it the oldest in Africa and 3rd oldest in the world.

6. Archaeological evidence shows that human existence in Nigeria has a history which starts from 9000 BC. The Nok civilization (around 500 BC-200 AD) is the earliest known civilization here.

7. The Jos Plateau Indigobird, a small reddish-brown bird, is found nowhere else on the planet but Plateau State, Nigeria. 

FIRST LOVE YOURSELF, OTHERS WILL COME NEXT

When you look in the mirror every morning, what do you see? Is it a true reflection of who you really are or a far cry from your true self.

Our self image determines what we allow others to think about us. A good self image allows us to focus on our achievements and the compliments we get from people. This is not to be confused with conceit. Being egocentric and having self love are two different things.

Self worth is a personal evaluation of a person is truly valued. It has to do with the feeling of having a good opinion about your abilities and appreciating your character irrespective of what the world thinks. Your self worth affects your personality and the attraction of others towards you.

Self regard or Egocentricity on the other hand means confusing what we see and think with the reality. When under the influence of egocentricity, we think that the way we see things, is exactly the way things are. 

An individual's self worth attributes profoundly on the way they feel about themselves. For a person to genuinely feel worthy, they have to be secure and confident in what they can do. 

Egos is a disease that makes every body sick except the person that has got it. This disease manifests itself in our inability to take other people's ideas or facts into perspective, just because we do not want to be perceived as being wrong about anything. 

Self worth enables you to respect your wishes as well as the wishes of others. It means you can be proud of something you have or have accomplished without necessarily rubbing it off on others around you. It also means that you can gracefully accept your shortcomings while striving to work on them yourself. 

Egostistic people possess huge egos derive pleasure in being the centre of attraction. They always crave recognition with little or no concern for those around them. They also possess a lack of interest in consistency or clarity. 

If egocentricity is a disease, then self awareness is the cure. We need to become more aware of our tendencies to confuse our opinion about everything with the truth. Our belief in our rightness is difficult to correct if we ignore the faults in our thinking process. This makes us fail to notice when our behaviour contradicts our self image.

Evaluating yourself the right way also affords you the liberty not to be compelled to justify your actions to yourself and those around you. For instance, you have no compulsion to justify to anyone why you have to go abroad on vacation, wear designer clothes or have lunch at a five-star restaurant. It makes you feel comfortable doing the things that adds colour to your life.

Finally, you have to recognize that there is no such thing as "Superiority complex". When you genuinely appreciate your own worth, there is no need to tell the whole world how valuable you are. It is only a person who is no convinced of his or her own worth that goes about endlessly about how costly they are.

EBOLA ALERT! PLEASE DON'T FORGET YOUR HAND SANITIZER

Fellow Nigerians, It is to the glory of God that I announce to you that we are finally free from the scourge of Ebola. But I enjoin you to continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in neighbouring West African countries who are still fighting the epidemic. The truth is if they are not free then we are not completely free.

I would also want to remember in a special way all the men and women who sacrificed their lives to keep us safe. May their deaths never ever be in vain.

One of the key actors in the Ebola episode was the “hand sanitizer”. Overnight, this largely overlooked hand antiseptic agent became a national treasure. This was fundamentally due to the fact that it was hailed as the sole resistance to Ebola after salt and warm water solution failed to convince Nigerians beyond reasonable doubt.

The introduction of the hand sanitizer into the daily lives of average Nigerians was a welcome idea safe for the fact that its value was misplaced. To be fair to hand sanitizer, it was unjustly overrated. So, instead of using it for the primary purpose it was meant for which is to keep the hands clean, Nigerians abused it. I even heard some people applied it on their body as lotion or in their bath water as disinfectant.

I was indifferent about getting the hand sanitizer simply because I was fed up with the whole the drama. Well, someone cared enough to get me one as a gift. I don’t usually get gifts when it’s not my birthday, so I figured she was also doing it to help herself since we worked in the same office and she was a primary contact.

Somehow, I kept forgetting my Hand Sanitizer at home before leaving for work and my colleague didn’t find this funny. So we devised a means to always remind me. We both agreed that she would send me a reminder every morning at 6.am which always read “Good morning. Please don’t forget your hand sanitizer”. I would get this SMS every morning for the next couple of weeks. And then it stopped coming.

I received the news of Nigeria being free from Ebola with joy but little did I expect that we would all abandon the hand sanitizer that helped us get through the trying period the way we did. It got me wondering if it was more honourable for us to fight against Ebola than to maintain a healthy lifestyle as a people. 

According to research, the hand sanitizer kills most bacteria, fungi and helps fight viruses that we would easily contact if our hands are not clean. Washing our hands frequently with soap and water or with the use of a sanitizer is the most important way to prevent dangerous diseases. 

Fellow Nigerians, Ebola has come and gone (hopefully) but it is not enough reason for us to neglect our personal hygiene. Let us keep Nigeria free from all diseases and please don't forget your hand sanitizer. 

FULFILLING YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A good number of us have not discovered why we are in this world. The objective of this post is to help identify your assignment with the hope that you still have enough time to focus on it and make something meaningful out of your life.

There are three basic things that usually point you to the direction of your assignment in life. They include the following;

• The things that makes you happy?
• The things that makes you Sad?
• The things that you really love?

The desire to protect and care for someone, a group of people or a situation is what brings out the best in you. Following through with this desire eventually leads to discovering your purpose.

Every human being created by God is a solution to an existing problem. That is why every birth is celebrated because it is expected that the child has a mission to accomplish on this earth. However, the inability to identify this mission has left many falling short of their full potentials.

We are often the missing piece in some puzzle and there is always an opportunity waiting to help you fulfill your assignment successfully. Some of us have identified our assignments but we are too afraid or lazy to pursue them. Others are discouraged by the circumstances they find themselves in and the lack of support from those around them.

In as much as there is a lot of factors that stand in our way, we should realize that it is in fulfilling our assignment that our lives become valuable. It is better to be afraid of dying without leaving a legacy than to be afraid of the obstacles that will hinder you from living a purposeful life. Nobody will remember you when you have done nothing to make their lives better.