I always thought I had fallen in
love at one point or the other in my life. First time would be as early as 12
years old. Yes! I had those butterflies running in my small stomach and used to
see that first girl in my dreams. And that process has come and gone a few
times down the years with of course new co-stars.
It is very easy for us to put ourselves in ‘love mode’ and go on and on about love like we have a clue. I actually did think I knew something about love (I have been reading relationship books since I had my first crush). But early this week, I had this life changing encounter.
I was in a small group meeting, where the subject of LOVE was going to be discussed. There I was, patiently waiting to hear what the speaker was going to say about love that I already have not heard (Just like most of you are thinking right now).
I must confess I really didn’t pay so much attention to what he was saying. I was busy admiring his impeccable blazers for most part, until he started reading the following words from his iPad.
‘‘If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and
always perseveres. Love never fails’’.
My jaw dropped. Could this be love he was talking about? So here are the 15 things I learnt from that meeting that has shaped my love life.
1. LOVE IS PATIENT
Love at first sight? I can tell you for free that this is not quite possible. You can get attracted to and bond with someone at your first meeting but the most you can do is to make a decision to love the person. Making a decision is not the same as walking through what you have decided. That is where most of us fall short of expectation. We are never really patient to walk the talk.
2. LOVE IS KIND
A kind person is disposed to help others and to do so with sympathy and consideration. Love will make a person kinder. No one can be loving and unkind at the same time.
3. LOVE DOES NOT ENVY
There is no room for envy. Love does not seek to benefit itself and it is content with what it has, because its focus is on meeting the needs of the one you love. Instead of envying others, we are called to love them.
4. LOVE DOES NOT BOAST
The reason that love does not boast is simple. It is more focused on magnifying other people’s accomplishments over our own.
5. LOVE IS NOT PROUD
Contrary to what you have believed, love is not really about you. In pride we become the objects of our own love; in humility we learn to love others. A person who is in love is not concerned with satisfying himself. The only thing love sees is the need of others.
6. LOVE DOES NOT DISHONOUR OTHERS
We often fall victims of playing politics with our decision to love. You decide to only fall in love with the girl with a flat tummy and figure 8 or the guy with the six packs. Everybody is lovable but there are just not enough people to love them enough. It is amazing how people change when you love them.
7. LOVE IS NOT SELF SEEKING
Love makes you do things for others before yourself (I don’t expect you to be excited about this) we are often very selfish and never really willing to let ourselves go for another person.
8. LOVE DOES NOT KEEP RECORD OF WRONGS
So often, people say they love each other, but, as soon as one gets angry, out comes the list of past sins! Accusations fly, painful memories are dredged up, and bygones are no longer bygones. Imagine if God keeps record of all the times we have sinned against him in secret and in the open. He keeps forgiving us regardless of how badly we treat him.
9. LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH
That serves her right. Did you really say that to someone you claim to love? True love does not gloat over someone else’s guilt. The more you love the truth, the better you can love those around you.
10. LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS
One of the marks of love is that it always seeks to protect the loved one. This doesn’t mean that we excuse wrongdoing or seek to evade the natural consequences of sin; it means that we strengthen what is weak, shield what is vulnerable, and forgive what is provoking.
11. LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS
Love will always make you “believe” in the other person. There is no room for second-guessing or questioning of whether the person should be loved. Love is simply unconditional. If you claim you love someone you don’t expect them to perform anything or achieve a certain goal in order to be loved.
12. LOVE ALWAYS HOPES
“If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” - Goethe
Part of showing love is hoping, and part of hoping is seeing the potential of others. If you have ever had a person believe in you and share a hopeful attitude for your future, then you have experienced some of what it means to be loved. As long as there is love, there will be hope.
13. LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES
The story of Jacob perfectly exemplifies this. During Jacob's stay in Laban’s house, he fell in love with Rachel and agreed to work seven years for Laban in return for her hand in marriage. On the night of the wedding, Rachel was substituted for Leah, her older sister. Poor Jacob had to work for another seven years as payment for the woman he loved.
14. LOVE NEVER FAILS
There is nothing fickle about love. It is not based on whims, feelings, or fantasies. Love is rock-solid, intent on benefiting the one you profess to love, regardless of the cost. God’s love never fails, and it never ends.
15. FINALLY, GOD IS LOVE
God is a perfect example of what love is all about. He can be God all by himself but he decided to draw us close to himself. And he gave his only son in the process. Just think about giving away that precious possession just so someone can love you (Okay, I know that’s mountain Everest hard). But then if we don’t have the capacity to make such enormous sacrifice for love, God will not ask us to go that far. Sometimes we are just too selfish to even want to try. Love offers us a great deal but it’s left for us to accept the offer.
So before you think you are in love, make sure you are obeying the 15 commandments of love. I wish you all the best in your love life.
My jaw dropped. Could this be love he was talking about? So here are the 15 things I learnt from that meeting that has shaped my love life.
1. LOVE IS PATIENT
Love at first sight? I can tell you for free that this is not quite possible. You can get attracted to and bond with someone at your first meeting but the most you can do is to make a decision to love the person. Making a decision is not the same as walking through what you have decided. That is where most of us fall short of expectation. We are never really patient to walk the talk.
2. LOVE IS KIND
A kind person is disposed to help others and to do so with sympathy and consideration. Love will make a person kinder. No one can be loving and unkind at the same time.
3. LOVE DOES NOT ENVY
There is no room for envy. Love does not seek to benefit itself and it is content with what it has, because its focus is on meeting the needs of the one you love. Instead of envying others, we are called to love them.
4. LOVE DOES NOT BOAST
The reason that love does not boast is simple. It is more focused on magnifying other people’s accomplishments over our own.
5. LOVE IS NOT PROUD
Contrary to what you have believed, love is not really about you. In pride we become the objects of our own love; in humility we learn to love others. A person who is in love is not concerned with satisfying himself. The only thing love sees is the need of others.
6. LOVE DOES NOT DISHONOUR OTHERS
We often fall victims of playing politics with our decision to love. You decide to only fall in love with the girl with a flat tummy and figure 8 or the guy with the six packs. Everybody is lovable but there are just not enough people to love them enough. It is amazing how people change when you love them.
7. LOVE IS NOT SELF SEEKING
Love makes you do things for others before yourself (I don’t expect you to be excited about this) we are often very selfish and never really willing to let ourselves go for another person.
8. LOVE DOES NOT KEEP RECORD OF WRONGS
So often, people say they love each other, but, as soon as one gets angry, out comes the list of past sins! Accusations fly, painful memories are dredged up, and bygones are no longer bygones. Imagine if God keeps record of all the times we have sinned against him in secret and in the open. He keeps forgiving us regardless of how badly we treat him.
9. LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH
That serves her right. Did you really say that to someone you claim to love? True love does not gloat over someone else’s guilt. The more you love the truth, the better you can love those around you.
10. LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS
One of the marks of love is that it always seeks to protect the loved one. This doesn’t mean that we excuse wrongdoing or seek to evade the natural consequences of sin; it means that we strengthen what is weak, shield what is vulnerable, and forgive what is provoking.
11. LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS
Love will always make you “believe” in the other person. There is no room for second-guessing or questioning of whether the person should be loved. Love is simply unconditional. If you claim you love someone you don’t expect them to perform anything or achieve a certain goal in order to be loved.
12. LOVE ALWAYS HOPES
“If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” - Goethe
Part of showing love is hoping, and part of hoping is seeing the potential of others. If you have ever had a person believe in you and share a hopeful attitude for your future, then you have experienced some of what it means to be loved. As long as there is love, there will be hope.
13. LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES
The story of Jacob perfectly exemplifies this. During Jacob's stay in Laban’s house, he fell in love with Rachel and agreed to work seven years for Laban in return for her hand in marriage. On the night of the wedding, Rachel was substituted for Leah, her older sister. Poor Jacob had to work for another seven years as payment for the woman he loved.
14. LOVE NEVER FAILS
There is nothing fickle about love. It is not based on whims, feelings, or fantasies. Love is rock-solid, intent on benefiting the one you profess to love, regardless of the cost. God’s love never fails, and it never ends.
15. FINALLY, GOD IS LOVE
God is a perfect example of what love is all about. He can be God all by himself but he decided to draw us close to himself. And he gave his only son in the process. Just think about giving away that precious possession just so someone can love you (Okay, I know that’s mountain Everest hard). But then if we don’t have the capacity to make such enormous sacrifice for love, God will not ask us to go that far. Sometimes we are just too selfish to even want to try. Love offers us a great deal but it’s left for us to accept the offer.
So before you think you are in love, make sure you are obeying the 15 commandments of love. I wish you all the best in your love life.
4 comments:
I can’t thank you enough for this article, it was so spot-on and really did help me realize there is more to love than I taught
This is a great post. Keep it up bro
yea, keep it up
It's amazing the amount of people who still do not realize what love is all about. Thanks for sharing
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