No matter how nice you try to be, you often find yourself in situations where you hurt the people you care about the most. Sometimes they try to get back at us by attempting to hurt us back as much or even more. They can go all the way to hatch plans that they intend will bring some kind of closure to their broken hearts. Some would rather leave their revenge to the imaginary 'god of Karma' to inflict enough anguish on you and even your generations to come.
What they oftentimes forget is that they too have also hurt someone in the past. Sometimes you hurt people knowingly and other times you do not have the faintest idea of the agony that someone is going through because of what you have said or done. And it can be for what you did not say or did not do. Life can be that complicated.
However you look at it, nothing hurts more than when we get disappointed by our close friends. But some people are naturally custodians of hurt. They get heartbroken when people disappoint them and even get hurt when people around them get disappointed by others. They just like the feeling of been counted among the distraught. I will like to use an example of a recent incidence where the husband of a popular OAP and Vlogger allegedly impregnated his side chick. I couldn't get over some 'emotional extremists' on social media who carried the cross on their shoulders while the wife in question went about her normal business.
The key to resolving matters of the heart that can lead to disappointments is effective communication but that in itself can be a challenge too. This is when both parties think their opinion must count and the other person should take majority of the blame for whatever must have caused the ruckus. Friendships last longer when the two people involved eliminate what I choose to call "the apology entitlement". To be honest, sometimes people should learn to apologize even when they know the other person was wrong. It doesn't take anything away from you, rather it gives you more power over the person.
In the past, I have had close relationships where either by virtue of the disappointment I caused them or because they selfishly jeopardized my happiness, suffered a big blow. I recall this funny scenario where we both left the room after a misunderstanding and never talked to each other again but were still paraded as friends on all the social media platforms. We both still assumed we were friends when in reality we no longer felt the way we used to.
Then one day, out of the blues I get a call from her. After the initial excitement, we went on and on trying to justify our actions leading to the separation. We kept heaping blames on each other and I was S-H-O-C-K-E-D at the things she said I did that left her hurt. Amazingly, they were things that in a hundred years I would never have thought of would cause her such pain. I apologized and we reached a truce.
Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to get a feedback as to why a relationship that was quite hot, suddenly went cold. When you are heartbroken, you can go to any length to make sure you retaliate for the agony you were made to endure. That is assuming you were the one that was hurt and not the other way round. Sometimes, you never truly know who was hurt the most.
In dealing with very close relationships, I am often guided by these words from Our Lord's Prayer "And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". So, we can decide to forgive people who have hurt us knowingly and unknowingly or we may decide to invoke the 'god of Karma' on them. In the end, let us always remember that God remains the last judge.
#HappiestManInTheWorld
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