THE LAMENTATIONS OF A LOVERHOLIC

All my life I have been searching for someone to love me, someone who would make me complete. I kept wondering if somehow that person was also searching for me

When we first met, my world was not what it is today. You brought my world to order with your sweetness. I have finally met an angel on this earth. I remember how I was so in love with you. You said you felt the same way about me. The problem with love is, you can truly love anyone you want but so can the other person

When you said that we would be together forever, I thought that meant till the day one of us died. Now, I guess forever isn’t as long as it used to be. Everything was going smoothly until you were no longer there to catch me. Your steadfast love ceased and your affection came to an end

You became a god who sat upon some imaginary throne and doled out love in small portions, only when you feel like. Your lips were filled with so many lies and fooling me became your greatest pleasure. I gradually lost faith in the man I treasured and trusted

You gave me so much joy and now I cannot control the depth of the wound you inflicted on my soul. You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes. I don't hate you for not loving me anymore, but I hate myself for still loving you and my heart doesn't know how to stop loving you

When you have loved a man unconditionally and lost that love, it leaves a scar that will never heal. It was hard to accept the loss of you but it was harder to move on without you. If I should die tonight and the reason remains unknown, tell not the whole world, but the one I love that I died of a broken heart, not because he loved me too little but because I loved him too much

I am a woman who has seen the sufferings that comes from loving a man. I have gotten to that point where I know that no man will really love me. I have learned to keep myself away from men because I will eventually get rejected.  They will only tolerate so much of me before they walk away

Where is God? But what right do I have to complain after I have sinned against him with my body. He is a just God and his grace has deserted me now. I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings. I have submitted my heart to God. His faithful love never ends 

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO A LOVERHOLIC (PART 2)

You are going to do so many foolish things in the name of love, but don’t be too hard on yourself.

Fall in love with yourself first. So that it will be easy for you to fall in love with someone else.

It takes the same capacity to fall in love as it will take to be alone. If you are capable of falling in love, it also means you are capable of being on your own.

Never go in search of love because you won’t find it. Love is never lost; we are the ones who always seem lost.

If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.

Don't struggle to make them notice your presence. Just make sure your absence will be felt tremendously.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO A LOVERHOLIC

Sometimes it’s hard to tell why you love someone so deeply because some answers are never enough. The reason for loving someone changes over time and in many ways.

When you love someone so much, their mistakes never change your feelings from them because it is the mind that gets angry but the heart always cares

You fall in love with someone not because of how you feel about them but because of how they make you feel about yourself.

When someone truly loves you, they don’t have to say a word. You will be able to tell simply by their actions. A person can say “I love you” a million times but never take it to heart until they prove it.

Sometimes the person you are willing to take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun. Falling in love can sometimes be a risk because you never know what the end may bring. However, the end of love is not the end of life.

Don’t try to make the person you love do the things they don’t want to do. Because you will probably end up feeling bad for yourself and eventually fall out of love with them. True love starts where manipulation stops.

You can fall in love with someone who will be a blessing to your life or fall in love with someone who will teach you the lesson of your life. Either way, never regret falling in love. Love sometimes leaves you for a reason but never leaves you without a lesson.

We all have our shortcomings and are all far from been perfect. Never judge someone you love based on their weaknesses but ensure you uphold their strength and try to help them work on their weaknesses.

You may have to fall in love with awful people once or twice, so that you would be able to appreciate your true love when it comes around.

As an exceptionally jealous lover, you only amplify your insecurities and no amount of reassurance from your partner can help you. Love is not for the faint-hearted.

It takes the same amount of effort in giving your heart to someone and in taking them out of your heart. Always be double sure before you walk away from love.

We all fall in love hoping that the one we give our hearts to look beyond our imperfections and love us the way we are. So we should do likewise by loving them unconditionally.

The day you decide to commit your life to someone, you have decided to look beyond yourself and put that person’s interest ahead of yours at all times.

Be true to your partner even if you cannot be true to yourself. It’s in being true to others that we find the purest kind of love, the kind that never dies even in death.

Always keep in mind that you cannot beseech someone to love you or plead with them to stay when they choose to walk away. The greatest gift you can bestow on someone you love is the freedom of being who they want to be.

Lastly my brethren, if you haven’t found true love yet, don’t give up. There is someone out there waiting to love you just the way you are. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but they are always worth the wait.


#HappiestManInTheWorld

SOME AMAZING FACTS ABOUT NIGERIA THAT MOST NIGERIANS DON'T KNOW

Here are some facts about Nigeria that most Nigerians have never heard about:

1. Nigeria is home to seven percent of the total languages spoken on earth. Taraba State alone has more languages than 30 African countries put together. The importance of this fact is more appreciated when one understands that language is the 'soul of culture'

2. South Eastern Nigeria is the densest area in Africa after the Nile Valley in Egypt.

3. Nigeria has the highest rate of twin births in the world. Igbo-Ora, a little town in Oyo State has been nicknamed Twin Capital of the World because of its unusually high rate of twins that is put as high as 158 twins per 1000 births.

4. Nigeria is divided into three by two Rivers.

5. Africa's oldest known boat is the Dufuna Canoe which was discovered in Dufuna village, Yobe State, by a Fulani herdsman in May 1987, while he dug a well in his compound. Various radio-carbon tests conducted in laboratories of reputable universities in Europe and America indicate that the canoe is over 8000 years old, thus making it the oldest in Africa and 3rd oldest in the world.

6. Archaeological evidence shows that human existence in Nigeria has a history which starts from 9000 BC. The Nok civilization (around 500 BC-200 AD) is the earliest known civilization here.

7. The Jos Plateau Indigobird, a small reddish-brown bird, is found nowhere else on the planet but Plateau State, Nigeria. 

FIRST LOVE YOURSELF, OTHERS WILL COME NEXT

When you look in the mirror every morning, what do you see? Is it a true reflection of who you really are or a far cry from your true self.

Our self image determines what we allow others to think about us. A good self image allows us to focus on our achievements and the compliments we get from people. This is not to be confused with conceit. Being egocentric and having self love are two different things.

Self worth is a personal evaluation of a person is truly valued. It has to do with the feeling of having a good opinion about your abilities and appreciating your character irrespective of what the world thinks. Your self worth affects your personality and the attraction of others towards you.

Self regard or Egocentricity on the other hand means confusing what we see and think with the reality. When under the influence of egocentricity, we think that the way we see things, is exactly the way things are. 

An individual's self worth attributes profoundly on the way they feel about themselves. For a person to genuinely feel worthy, they have to be secure and confident in what they can do. 

Egos is a disease that makes every body sick except the person that has got it. This disease manifests itself in our inability to take other people's ideas or facts into perspective, just because we do not want to be perceived as being wrong about anything. 

Self worth enables you to respect your wishes as well as the wishes of others. It means you can be proud of something you have or have accomplished without necessarily rubbing it off on others around you. It also means that you can gracefully accept your shortcomings while striving to work on them yourself. 

Egostistic people possess huge egos derive pleasure in being the centre of attraction. They always crave recognition with little or no concern for those around them. They also possess a lack of interest in consistency or clarity. 

If egocentricity is a disease, then self awareness is the cure. We need to become more aware of our tendencies to confuse our opinion about everything with the truth. Our belief in our rightness is difficult to correct if we ignore the faults in our thinking process. This makes us fail to notice when our behaviour contradicts our self image.

Evaluating yourself the right way also affords you the liberty not to be compelled to justify your actions to yourself and those around you. For instance, you have no compulsion to justify to anyone why you have to go abroad on vacation, wear designer clothes or have lunch at a five-star restaurant. It makes you feel comfortable doing the things that adds colour to your life.

Finally, you have to recognize that there is no such thing as "Superiority complex". When you genuinely appreciate your own worth, there is no need to tell the whole world how valuable you are. It is only a person who is no convinced of his or her own worth that goes about endlessly about how costly they are.

EBOLA ALERT! PLEASE DON'T FORGET YOUR HAND SANITIZER

Fellow Nigerians, It is to the glory of God that I announce to you that we are finally free from the scourge of Ebola. But I enjoin you to continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in neighbouring West African countries who are still fighting the epidemic. The truth is if they are not free then we are not completely free.

I would also want to remember in a special way all the men and women who sacrificed their lives to keep us safe. May their deaths never ever be in vain.

One of the key actors in the Ebola episode was the “hand sanitizer”. Overnight, this largely overlooked hand antiseptic agent became a national treasure. This was fundamentally due to the fact that it was hailed as the sole resistance to Ebola after salt and warm water solution failed to convince Nigerians beyond reasonable doubt.

The introduction of the hand sanitizer into the daily lives of average Nigerians was a welcome idea safe for the fact that its value was misplaced. To be fair to hand sanitizer, it was unjustly overrated. So, instead of using it for the primary purpose it was meant for which is to keep the hands clean, Nigerians abused it. I even heard some people applied it on their body as lotion or in their bath water as disinfectant.

I was indifferent about getting the hand sanitizer simply because I was fed up with the whole the drama. Well, someone cared enough to get me one as a gift. I don’t usually get gifts when it’s not my birthday, so I figured she was also doing it to help herself since we worked in the same office and she was a primary contact.

Somehow, I kept forgetting my Hand Sanitizer at home before leaving for work and my colleague didn’t find this funny. So we devised a means to always remind me. We both agreed that she would send me a reminder every morning at 6.am which always read “Good morning. Please don’t forget your hand sanitizer”. I would get this SMS every morning for the next couple of weeks. And then it stopped coming.

I received the news of Nigeria being free from Ebola with joy but little did I expect that we would all abandon the hand sanitizer that helped us get through the trying period the way we did. It got me wondering if it was more honourable for us to fight against Ebola than to maintain a healthy lifestyle as a people. 

According to research, the hand sanitizer kills most bacteria, fungi and helps fight viruses that we would easily contact if our hands are not clean. Washing our hands frequently with soap and water or with the use of a sanitizer is the most important way to prevent dangerous diseases. 

Fellow Nigerians, Ebola has come and gone (hopefully) but it is not enough reason for us to neglect our personal hygiene. Let us keep Nigeria free from all diseases and please don't forget your hand sanitizer. 

FULFILLING YOUR ASSIGNMENT

A good number of us have not discovered why we are in this world. The objective of this post is to help identify your assignment with the hope that you still have enough time to focus on it and make something meaningful out of your life.

There are three basic things that usually point you to the direction of your assignment in life. They include the following;

• The things that makes you happy?
• The things that makes you Sad?
• The things that you really love?

The desire to protect and care for someone, a group of people or a situation is what brings out the best in you. Following through with this desire eventually leads to discovering your purpose.

Every human being created by God is a solution to an existing problem. That is why every birth is celebrated because it is expected that the child has a mission to accomplish on this earth. However, the inability to identify this mission has left many falling short of their full potentials.

We are often the missing piece in some puzzle and there is always an opportunity waiting to help you fulfill your assignment successfully. Some of us have identified our assignments but we are too afraid or lazy to pursue them. Others are discouraged by the circumstances they find themselves in and the lack of support from those around them.

In as much as there is a lot of factors that stand in our way, we should realize that it is in fulfilling our assignment that our lives become valuable. It is better to be afraid of dying without leaving a legacy than to be afraid of the obstacles that will hinder you from living a purposeful life. Nobody will remember you when you have done nothing to make their lives better. 

I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU EX: DEALING WITH SEPARATION

The idea of separation seems unimaginable especially after a lot has been invested over a lengthy period of time. People look for a blissful retreat in love; that desire to live happily ever after with the one you adore. However, lovers are quite susceptible to the risk of being separated from their partners at one point or the other. Sometimes, separation can be the best way to love you.

Separation can at times be a decision to set the two of you free instead of constantly reliving the same arguments, denying the same incompatibility, and opening the same wounds knowing full well that you are not meant to be together.


Why Are People Afraid of Separation?Women always find it harder to come to terms with lost love, however badly they may have been treated. But sometimes you have to realize that God removes a person from your life for your own good. Separation can also be a measure of correcting a mistake that was hurting four people; you, your partner and the two people who you were destined to be with.

Some people have a terrible taste in lovers but can't seem to leave them even when they are aware of the limitations of the relationship. Anytime they try to leave, they see themselves going back. They feel pity on their partner or believe they would never find someone better. Anyway, with time you will start to understand that there are other people who can give you the more satisfaction and make you feel further appreciated.

My advice for you is to find your self-dignity and be open to those who treat you with love and respect. You lose a lot of your own identity for the other person and get so wrapped up trying to please them. Life is too precious to waste on people who don’t deserve your love.


How Do You Know When To Move On?There are no straightforward signs for knowing when it’s time to move on but somehow deep inside us we know when something isn’t right and it can’t be fixed. Here are some signs to identify when it’s time to move on from a relationship.

• When the trust you both shared is suddenly gone. 
• When your partner puts little effort in making the relationship work.
• When the same issues keep recurring even after being addressed.
• When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
• When your partner makes you feel alone, unheard and disrespected.
• When your partner is causing you physical and emotional hurt.
• When neither of you feels the same way about each other.
• When the relationship holds you back and stops you from progressing as individuals.
• When you keep justifying your partner’s actions to yourself.

What If They Cheated?Cheating on a partner is the most common catalyst that leads to separation. Having an affair is a very powerful addiction. The longing to be with the other person can be so intense that being faithful to you again is almost out of the question. And the fact that you may be constantly hurt by this callous indulgence means very little to them as long as they think they can get away with it. Unless they completely abandon the object of their obsession, the addiction typically never dies.

In affairs that have low emotional attachment, the addiction is often to the act of having sex itself, rather than to a particular lover. Even casual affairs may be an addiction for them. It may not be an addiction to a particular lover, but to different lovers. Often times, this addiction can arise from a need to be constantly assured of their attractiveness; the desire to believe that they can have anyone. However, if the only way to gain reassurance of their charm is the way that destroys you, then you must severe the relationship.


Is Separation The Last Option?When a relationship stops flowing either because one partner had cheated or the other is just fed up and wants out, there is no way you can hold them back. In the end, it's not about how much you can bear or how long you can endure.

Some people on the other hand resort to having affairs outside their relationships just to give them a breathing space. However, affairs will only cause more pains instead of fixing the problems in the relationship. Many things can be fixed but a sore relationship between two people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed.

Relationships are like glasses. Sometimes it better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself by putting it back together. This is the hard truth.


What Are The Likely Impacts of Separation?
It’s not an easy thing to separate from someone you love. Separating from one’s partner can lead to uncertainty and can sometimes be terrifying. Various studies have shown that separation from the other half can lead to increased anxiety, sleep disturbances, depression and disbelief. Separation can invoke this psychological drive to be close to your companion, to want to take care of them and being unwilling to be away from them for too long.

The pain of separation is intensified by the feeling of personal failure, because people expect your relationship to last forever and open knowledge of its failure may hurts your confidence. When your amazing love story finally comes to an end, you will probably find that the hurt and anguish utterly consumes you.

Sometimes, you feel frozen in time, drowning in your emotions and finding it difficult to cope with the reality but separation also begets new beginnings and opportunities.


How Do You Deal With Separation?There are various ways to deal with separation from a partner and I have highlighted some of them below. 

• Take a break for a period of time to help you refocus. 
• Spend more time with friends and family to help you gain self-assurance. 
• Seek professional help or advice if necessary.
• Refrain from engaging in any unhealthy lifestyle.
• Avoid making any major life-altering decisions until you become emotionally stable.
• Concentrate on activities that will help you dwell less on the separation.
• Meeting new people will help you become more comfortable.
• Maintain an optimistic attitude about the future.

Should Separation Be Temporary or Permanent?In spite of the beautiful moments shared and sacrifices made, I would suggest with all sincerity that there should be an absolute end to the relationship. And I would like to also make exceptions for cases where a little child or something similar is involved. In such instances, I will recommend great measures be put in place to ensure that the relationship is restricted to the common interests.

Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the relationship, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to the partner who is hurt. A complete separation can give your soul the healing that it needs and help you take control of whatever power the person had over you.

In conclusion, it is important to note that there are things and people that we may find difficult to separate from. However, separation doesn't mean that it is the end of the world but another opportunity for you to learn to love again. I wish you all the best as you find the courage to move on to better things.



#HappiestManInTheWorld

NIGERIA FEMALE CONTINGENT DAZZLES AT COMMONWEALTH GAMES

Team Nigeria female representatives at the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow are doing the nation proud as they have been responsible for all the Gold medals the country has won so far.

Nigerian weightlifters Maryam Usman and Oluwatoyin Adesanmi both won gold medals in the Women's +75kg and +63kg category. Usman lifted 125kg in snatch and 155kg clean & jerk defeating the defending champion Ele Opeloge of Samoa. Adesanmi defeated her compatriot Obioma Okoli who won silver, leaving India's Punam Yadav to settle for the bronze medal.

In the wrestling event, Odunayo Adekuroye and Aminat Adeniyi won gold in the Women's Free Style 53kg and 58kg category respectively. Adekuroye defeated Lalita Lalita of India to submission to win 5-0. Aminat on the other hand, dominated Sakshi Malik of India by taking a lead of 10-0 in 2 minutes 24 seconds before the match was stopped on account of technical superiority. 

 Prolific sprinter Blessing Okagbare clinched the Commonwealth Games sprint double, becoming the first African woman and the fourth woman ever to achieve that feat. She did so in a record time of 10.85 and 22.25 in the 100m and 200m final races respectively.

In the women’s long jump event, fast rising athlete, Ese Brume, achieved a 6.56m leap to win Nigeria’s eight gold medal of the games. Brume's blistering performance ensured Nigeria's first gold medal at the event in 14 years. 

TRIBUTE: THE ANGELS OF CHIBOK

Today marks 100 days since innocent school girls were violently abducted from their school in Chibok, Borno State. Some Nigerians still believe it was a hoax and others are blaming the government for inaction. Well, to every man the right to believe what he wants.

So, here is a poem I wrote for the occasion. The intention is simply to capture the feelings of these innocent school girls who are going through possibly the darkest days of their lives.   

Life is not always the easiest thing to get through

Especially when you are trapped in a dungeon like me

I was only sixteen and I was so innocent

It was the darkest day of my life

They took the entire colour out of my world

It felt like I was dreaming

Then it suddenly turned into a nightmare

Nothing felt real and it scared me

I was too tired to try to run away

They would bring me back

But why am I still here?

I have lost count of the days

And no one has come to look for me

I don’t know if anyone even cares

I might just be here for the rest of my life

All I want to do now is cry my heart out

But there are no more tears left to cry

I remember my mother everyday

She is a strong woman but this will be too much for her

I don’t want my father to see me like this

Because the sad memory will never leave him

I was their only hope

Now they have lost everything

I am frozen in fear, can barely move my body

They are standing over me again tonight

It was the same yesterday, and the day before

They take me however and whenever

Like I am not even human anymore

And they wouldn’t stop until I fainted

There is so much hurt inside

No, wait, I mean Inside inside

Coming from within my thighs

It’s constant, until my blood soaks my dress

My legs are numb and I can barely walk

It’s like my humanity is tainted

I feel horribly messed up

That overwhelming feeling of worthlessness

Am not worthy of any man now

I am not worth anything anymore

My head, my stomach, my body, everything hurts

There is no happiness, no enjoyment, nothing at all

I have been put through unimaginable things

You name it, I have suffered it all

When would this end?

Nothing gives me pleasure anymore

Such a feeling of insignificance and dirtiness

The feelings surge with persistent power

How will I live with this horrendous nightmare?

When I lay down at night I can’t sleep

Am thinking of how terrible the next day will be

The only guarantee is that I will suffer again and again

Until the day my heart stops beating, hopefully

There is no day since I got here that I have not wanted to die

I keep waking up every morning and I don’t know why

I have begged, pleaded and yelled at God to take me

Why can’t I just die in my sleep?

I have almost lost the will to live

It’s as if nothing I could ever do would bring me joy

Nothing matters, everything hurts, especially the darkness

But I am too afraid to take my own life

At least that’s how I feel at the moment

Although my mind tells me otherwise 

I didn’t choose this kind of life

Am just an unfortunate victim

It could have been anyone

All I wanted was a better life

Something my parents never had

Now my pleasant dreams are fading away

I thought I always know how things would be

How things would all turn out for me

I have always had high hopes

But this feeling of hopelessness is unrelenting

They have taken away almost everything

The creator is all I have now

I have given him all that is left of me

At least, then I will die for something

Please #BringBackOurGirls alive and now