Recently, I came across a post by a friend on facebook credited to Dr Mike Murdock. It was one of his inspirational master-piece from twitter. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I was not following him on twitter and was apparently missing out on a lot of good stuff. I immediately rushed to twitter to follow Dr Murdock. Like I always do for anyone I follow, I did a quick scan on his twitter profile and guess what I found. COZA!!! Did I hear you say COZA again? And for those of you wondering what COZA is all about, let me inform you or refresh your memories.
Late last year, the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA) was dragged into some Shepherd sleeping with watching over their flocks by night drama. I paused for a moment to figure out the connection between Dr Mike Murdock and Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo. All I can tell you for now is that the former went to speak at the latter’s church, in the end a brand new Rolls Royce was exchanged and Murdock promised to include the Pastor’s four children in his will. That’s some strong connection if you ask me but that is a story for another day.
When the 'Eseoghene Walters scandal' broke, I restrained myself from taking any sides on the matter because the other party is still compiling his robust response (It’s better late than never). Big stories are often loaded with controversies and tend to easily polarize people. Just by the way she told the story; she revealed a lot about herself and cast aspersion on her entire experience.
When the 'Eseoghene Walters scandal' broke, I restrained myself from taking any sides on the matter because the other party is still compiling his robust response (It’s better late than never). Big stories are often loaded with controversies and tend to easily polarize people. Just by the way she told the story; she revealed a lot about herself and cast aspersion on her entire experience.
For a while I pondered on what might be contained in his robust response and how it will change the dynamics of this super story. Though we might hate to admit it, there are always two sides to every story. Big stories are not quite objective, they are often selective. They perceive events subjectively in the first place, paying attention to certain information and ignoring certain others. This is because humans aren’t capable of pure objectivity. People can’t be completely objective when telling stories for several reasons which is why we must endeavour to hear both sides of the story.
THERE IS ALWAYS A BIGGER PICTURE
Get more perspective about the story. The most immediate outcome of hearing both sides of any story is that you get a bigger picture of the story. Since each side highlights and omits certain details, you’re left with more details overall. This helps reconstruct what really happened, or see what’s really was the motive.
UNDERSTANDING WHY THE WINNER IS RIGHT
Now since you are selective in how you hear both sides of the any story, you usually have your mind made up on which side you think is right. Before actually hearing out the other side, study the opposing side without any form of bias.
BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOUR INNER RIGHT
By doing so you are building a stronger case of why you side the way you do; it builds confidence. You see more clearly how your stance helps you be more honest with yourself, emotionally resilient, and response able. You consciously make a better case for why you believe and act in the ways you do.
UNDERSTANDING WHY THE LOSER IS WRONG
It is important to scope out the opposing side with more resolve. In a basic sense, you can sum up all the weak arguments made by your opposition. This sharpens your ears for similar debates or issues in your daily life and you will be better prepared to respond with confidence because you have already rehearsed your position and why it matters.
BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOUR INNER WRONG
Here’s where it gets creatively introspective. Once you have sized up the opposition and can see through their feeble arguments, you can turn those criticisms back onto you. Are you repeating any of these destructive or dysfunctional behaviors in your own life? Even if it’s a much smaller scale, it’s necessary to expose these weakness and contradictions, to lead your life more mindfully and effectively, because you can’t be guilty of what your opposition does.
RECOGNIZE WHEN THERE ARE NO VICTORS, ONLY LOSERS
Sometimes a polarized story doesn’t have clear winners and losers, because everyone loses in some major way. It could be that one side makes a good point about why their opposition is wrong — but they become menacing hypocrites in the process. Most of the time when one side violently fights against the other it becomes a shot in the foot. It’s far more productive to fight for something than against.
DECONSTRUCT THE UNDERLYING ISSUE OR CAUSE IN ANALYSING BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY
You can start to see beyond all the sensationalizations and emotionally-loaded claims (like about morality or what God says is Truth). As a result, you can start to see what the real issue is, or rather how to approach it in a more objective manner. The thing about human perception is that people slap on layers and layers of constructs — which describe events in after-the-fact ways. Good and evil are human constructs — they don’t objectively exist “out there.” Good and evil deconstructed might look something like this: good means respecting people’s personal boundaries (unless in defending one’s life or the life of another); evil means disrespecting people’s personal boundaries (unless in defending one’s life or the life of another). It’s much easier to work with good and evil deconstructed because you can actually focus on concrete action rather than abstraction and fuzzy notions of what to do.
HAVE SUPERIOR REASONS TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN VERSION OF THE STORY
It’s healthy to view a story as deconstructed as you can make it. And then to consciously fight for the side or important elements of both sides, in constructive ways that work for you. You certainly won’t get to this point if you sit in your own corner favoring one side over the other and never looking deeper into the dynamics at play.
DEVELOP MORE EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE WHEN PEOPLE TEND TO DISAGREE WITH YOU
The more command you have over the story, the more at peace you will be with your final outcome. Having a robust perspective as well as the benefits from each of the previous reasons makes your own positioning more coherent. And it makes you less or not interested in arguing to prove to yourself that you are right, because you already know that you are. It also makes you less interested in converting others to your own side — because you know they won’t really get it unless they go through what you’ve gone through or at least something close.
BE ABLE TO BETTER EMPATHIZE WITH MORE PEOPLE
As a cumulative result of listening to both sides of any story, you can better understand why people side certain ways on polarizing or controversial issues.
ALWAYS ENDEAVOUR TO UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES AND STICK TO THE FACTS
Even though there may be two sides to the story, it does not mean that both sides are equally true and valid, particularly if one party has a vested interest in portraying something in a particular way. Don't jump to conclusions or act prematurely on the basis of hearing one side only. Trust is the foundation of all human relationships. It takes years to build trust, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Willingness to listen to both sides does not mean compromise. But sometimes it may be wise to back down and be silent for a while. The world is waiting and people are looking for the truth. We need to hear both sides of the story.
I would love to give credit to www.mindfulconstruct.com for some the insights on this article.
THERE IS ALWAYS A BIGGER PICTURE
Get more perspective about the story. The most immediate outcome of hearing both sides of any story is that you get a bigger picture of the story. Since each side highlights and omits certain details, you’re left with more details overall. This helps reconstruct what really happened, or see what’s really was the motive.
UNDERSTANDING WHY THE WINNER IS RIGHT
Now since you are selective in how you hear both sides of the any story, you usually have your mind made up on which side you think is right. Before actually hearing out the other side, study the opposing side without any form of bias.
BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOUR INNER RIGHT
By doing so you are building a stronger case of why you side the way you do; it builds confidence. You see more clearly how your stance helps you be more honest with yourself, emotionally resilient, and response able. You consciously make a better case for why you believe and act in the ways you do.
UNDERSTANDING WHY THE LOSER IS WRONG
It is important to scope out the opposing side with more resolve. In a basic sense, you can sum up all the weak arguments made by your opposition. This sharpens your ears for similar debates or issues in your daily life and you will be better prepared to respond with confidence because you have already rehearsed your position and why it matters.
BECOME MORE AWARE OF YOUR INNER WRONG
Here’s where it gets creatively introspective. Once you have sized up the opposition and can see through their feeble arguments, you can turn those criticisms back onto you. Are you repeating any of these destructive or dysfunctional behaviors in your own life? Even if it’s a much smaller scale, it’s necessary to expose these weakness and contradictions, to lead your life more mindfully and effectively, because you can’t be guilty of what your opposition does.
RECOGNIZE WHEN THERE ARE NO VICTORS, ONLY LOSERS
Sometimes a polarized story doesn’t have clear winners and losers, because everyone loses in some major way. It could be that one side makes a good point about why their opposition is wrong — but they become menacing hypocrites in the process. Most of the time when one side violently fights against the other it becomes a shot in the foot. It’s far more productive to fight for something than against.
DECONSTRUCT THE UNDERLYING ISSUE OR CAUSE IN ANALYSING BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY
You can start to see beyond all the sensationalizations and emotionally-loaded claims (like about morality or what God says is Truth). As a result, you can start to see what the real issue is, or rather how to approach it in a more objective manner. The thing about human perception is that people slap on layers and layers of constructs — which describe events in after-the-fact ways. Good and evil are human constructs — they don’t objectively exist “out there.” Good and evil deconstructed might look something like this: good means respecting people’s personal boundaries (unless in defending one’s life or the life of another); evil means disrespecting people’s personal boundaries (unless in defending one’s life or the life of another). It’s much easier to work with good and evil deconstructed because you can actually focus on concrete action rather than abstraction and fuzzy notions of what to do.
HAVE SUPERIOR REASONS TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN VERSION OF THE STORY
It’s healthy to view a story as deconstructed as you can make it. And then to consciously fight for the side or important elements of both sides, in constructive ways that work for you. You certainly won’t get to this point if you sit in your own corner favoring one side over the other and never looking deeper into the dynamics at play.
DEVELOP MORE EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE WHEN PEOPLE TEND TO DISAGREE WITH YOU
The more command you have over the story, the more at peace you will be with your final outcome. Having a robust perspective as well as the benefits from each of the previous reasons makes your own positioning more coherent. And it makes you less or not interested in arguing to prove to yourself that you are right, because you already know that you are. It also makes you less interested in converting others to your own side — because you know they won’t really get it unless they go through what you’ve gone through or at least something close.
BE ABLE TO BETTER EMPATHIZE WITH MORE PEOPLE
As a cumulative result of listening to both sides of any story, you can better understand why people side certain ways on polarizing or controversial issues.
ALWAYS ENDEAVOUR TO UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES AND STICK TO THE FACTS
Even though there may be two sides to the story, it does not mean that both sides are equally true and valid, particularly if one party has a vested interest in portraying something in a particular way. Don't jump to conclusions or act prematurely on the basis of hearing one side only. Trust is the foundation of all human relationships. It takes years to build trust, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Willingness to listen to both sides does not mean compromise. But sometimes it may be wise to back down and be silent for a while. The world is waiting and people are looking for the truth. We need to hear both sides of the story.
I would love to give credit to www.mindfulconstruct.com for some the insights on this article.
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