WHO LOVE DON EPP?

Love can sometimes be so complicated that you give up ever trying to understand it on your own. Don’t get me wrong, I am not some heartbroken person trying to write from the depth of my disappointment. I am just another human being trying to make sense out of this thing called love.

What else do you do when you put all of your trust in people and they throw it right back at your face? Some of them are nice enough to announce their exit, others just walk away without warning or a sign. And for days, weeks, and months on end, you letting the feeling of betrayal strip you of all your sanity.

Then somehow you find someone else who is able to heal your broken heart, only to have it broken again by the healer. The pain becomes too much for you to handle and you spend many lonely nights, literally struggling to survive till the next day and silently hoping the next day will be better. And if anything it becomes worse and you are forced to keep up your fake smile.

You were cut open several times by love’s betrayal and gradually you closed up yourself for good. Partly because you were afraid of going through more pain and likely because your heart has stopped longing for anyone.

But they won’t let you enjoy your loneliness in peace. “When are we coming to rejoice with you?” And whenever you think they have given up, another cousin gets married and they are back on top your matter.

And you take your time to explain your heartbreak stories. How your heart has been played so many times that there is no more rhythm in it to celebrate anything. “Such is life, but you don’t ever give up on love. You will find the right person one day. That was how I met my husband” your aunt counsels.  

After so many sermons, you pack up the pieces of your broken heart and carry on with your life with a promise to yourself that you have learnt enough lesson about love and this time you will never ever allow yourself go through any unpleasant experience again.

But then someone else comes along and suddenly it’s like everything is different and you believe this might be the ONE. They are from a different planet, another tribe and of a different complexion or shape. You have lowered your physical standards and raised your spiritual standards. Whatever you can do to convince yourself that they must be the one you have been waiting for all your life. 

This time they even begged for your love, sang your praises and worshiped you like you were a mini god. For months none stop they made you smile and showered you with love until you were completely swept away. 

So you bring out that last jot of trust left in you and give it all to this person, leaving nothing behind. Trusting them with the last piece of hope left in your whole heart. And like the ones before, they take it and crush every bit of it to pieces. Your physical strength, your hopes, your dreams: one by one, fades away. 

Then you are left in the trenches of sorrow wondering “Who this love don epp”?