I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU EX: DEALING WITH SEPARATION

The idea of separation seems unimaginable especially after a lot has been invested over a lengthy period of time. People look for a blissful retreat in love; that desire to live happily ever after with the one you adore. However, lovers are quite susceptible to the risk of being separated from their partners at one point or the other. Sometimes, separation can be the best way to love you.

Separation can at times be a decision to set the two of you free instead of constantly reliving the same arguments, denying the same incompatibility, and opening the same wounds knowing full well that you are not meant to be together.


Why Are People Afraid of Separation?Women always find it harder to come to terms with lost love, however badly they may have been treated. But sometimes you have to realize that God removes a person from your life for your own good. Separation can also be a measure of correcting a mistake that was hurting four people; you, your partner and the two people who you were destined to be with.

Some people have a terrible taste in lovers but can't seem to leave them even when they are aware of the limitations of the relationship. Anytime they try to leave, they see themselves going back. They feel pity on their partner or believe they would never find someone better. Anyway, with time you will start to understand that there are other people who can give you the more satisfaction and make you feel further appreciated.

My advice for you is to find your self-dignity and be open to those who treat you with love and respect. You lose a lot of your own identity for the other person and get so wrapped up trying to please them. Life is too precious to waste on people who don’t deserve your love.


How Do You Know When To Move On?There are no straightforward signs for knowing when it’s time to move on but somehow deep inside us we know when something isn’t right and it can’t be fixed. Here are some signs to identify when it’s time to move on from a relationship.

• When the trust you both shared is suddenly gone. 
• When your partner puts little effort in making the relationship work.
• When the same issues keep recurring even after being addressed.
• When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
• When your partner makes you feel alone, unheard and disrespected.
• When your partner is causing you physical and emotional hurt.
• When neither of you feels the same way about each other.
• When the relationship holds you back and stops you from progressing as individuals.
• When you keep justifying your partner’s actions to yourself.

What If They Cheated?Cheating on a partner is the most common catalyst that leads to separation. Having an affair is a very powerful addiction. The longing to be with the other person can be so intense that being faithful to you again is almost out of the question. And the fact that you may be constantly hurt by this callous indulgence means very little to them as long as they think they can get away with it. Unless they completely abandon the object of their obsession, the addiction typically never dies.

In affairs that have low emotional attachment, the addiction is often to the act of having sex itself, rather than to a particular lover. Even casual affairs may be an addiction for them. It may not be an addiction to a particular lover, but to different lovers. Often times, this addiction can arise from a need to be constantly assured of their attractiveness; the desire to believe that they can have anyone. However, if the only way to gain reassurance of their charm is the way that destroys you, then you must severe the relationship.


Is Separation The Last Option?When a relationship stops flowing either because one partner had cheated or the other is just fed up and wants out, there is no way you can hold them back. In the end, it's not about how much you can bear or how long you can endure.

Some people on the other hand resort to having affairs outside their relationships just to give them a breathing space. However, affairs will only cause more pains instead of fixing the problems in the relationship. Many things can be fixed but a sore relationship between two people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed.

Relationships are like glasses. Sometimes it better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself by putting it back together. This is the hard truth.


What Are The Likely Impacts of Separation?
It’s not an easy thing to separate from someone you love. Separating from one’s partner can lead to uncertainty and can sometimes be terrifying. Various studies have shown that separation from the other half can lead to increased anxiety, sleep disturbances, depression and disbelief. Separation can invoke this psychological drive to be close to your companion, to want to take care of them and being unwilling to be away from them for too long.

The pain of separation is intensified by the feeling of personal failure, because people expect your relationship to last forever and open knowledge of its failure may hurts your confidence. When your amazing love story finally comes to an end, you will probably find that the hurt and anguish utterly consumes you.

Sometimes, you feel frozen in time, drowning in your emotions and finding it difficult to cope with the reality but separation also begets new beginnings and opportunities.


How Do You Deal With Separation?There are various ways to deal with separation from a partner and I have highlighted some of them below. 

• Take a break for a period of time to help you refocus. 
• Spend more time with friends and family to help you gain self-assurance. 
• Seek professional help or advice if necessary.
• Refrain from engaging in any unhealthy lifestyle.
• Avoid making any major life-altering decisions until you become emotionally stable.
• Concentrate on activities that will help you dwell less on the separation.
• Meeting new people will help you become more comfortable.
• Maintain an optimistic attitude about the future.

Should Separation Be Temporary or Permanent?In spite of the beautiful moments shared and sacrifices made, I would suggest with all sincerity that there should be an absolute end to the relationship. And I would like to also make exceptions for cases where a little child or something similar is involved. In such instances, I will recommend great measures be put in place to ensure that the relationship is restricted to the common interests.

Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the relationship, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to the partner who is hurt. A complete separation can give your soul the healing that it needs and help you take control of whatever power the person had over you.

In conclusion, it is important to note that there are things and people that we may find difficult to separate from. However, separation doesn't mean that it is the end of the world but another opportunity for you to learn to love again. I wish you all the best as you find the courage to move on to better things.



#HappiestManInTheWorld

NIGERIA FEMALE CONTINGENT DAZZLES AT COMMONWEALTH GAMES

Team Nigeria female representatives at the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow are doing the nation proud as they have been responsible for all the Gold medals the country has won so far.

Nigerian weightlifters Maryam Usman and Oluwatoyin Adesanmi both won gold medals in the Women's +75kg and +63kg category. Usman lifted 125kg in snatch and 155kg clean & jerk defeating the defending champion Ele Opeloge of Samoa. Adesanmi defeated her compatriot Obioma Okoli who won silver, leaving India's Punam Yadav to settle for the bronze medal.

In the wrestling event, Odunayo Adekuroye and Aminat Adeniyi won gold in the Women's Free Style 53kg and 58kg category respectively. Adekuroye defeated Lalita Lalita of India to submission to win 5-0. Aminat on the other hand, dominated Sakshi Malik of India by taking a lead of 10-0 in 2 minutes 24 seconds before the match was stopped on account of technical superiority. 

 Prolific sprinter Blessing Okagbare clinched the Commonwealth Games sprint double, becoming the first African woman and the fourth woman ever to achieve that feat. She did so in a record time of 10.85 and 22.25 in the 100m and 200m final races respectively.

In the women’s long jump event, fast rising athlete, Ese Brume, achieved a 6.56m leap to win Nigeria’s eight gold medal of the games. Brume's blistering performance ensured Nigeria's first gold medal at the event in 14 years. 

TRIBUTE: THE ANGELS OF CHIBOK

Today marks 100 days since innocent school girls were violently abducted from their school in Chibok, Borno State. Some Nigerians still believe it was a hoax and others are blaming the government for inaction. Well, to every man the right to believe what he wants.

So, here is a poem I wrote for the occasion. The intention is simply to capture the feelings of these innocent school girls who are going through possibly the darkest days of their lives.   

Life is not always the easiest thing to get through

Especially when you are trapped in a dungeon like me

I was only sixteen and I was so innocent

It was the darkest day of my life

They took the entire colour out of my world

It felt like I was dreaming

Then it suddenly turned into a nightmare

Nothing felt real and it scared me

I was too tired to try to run away

They would bring me back

But why am I still here?

I have lost count of the days

And no one has come to look for me

I don’t know if anyone even cares

I might just be here for the rest of my life

All I want to do now is cry my heart out

But there are no more tears left to cry

I remember my mother everyday

She is a strong woman but this will be too much for her

I don’t want my father to see me like this

Because the sad memory will never leave him

I was their only hope

Now they have lost everything

I am frozen in fear, can barely move my body

They are standing over me again tonight

It was the same yesterday, and the day before

They take me however and whenever

Like I am not even human anymore

And they wouldn’t stop until I fainted

There is so much hurt inside

No, wait, I mean Inside inside

Coming from within my thighs

It’s constant, until my blood soaks my dress

My legs are numb and I can barely walk

It’s like my humanity is tainted

I feel horribly messed up

That overwhelming feeling of worthlessness

Am not worthy of any man now

I am not worth anything anymore

My head, my stomach, my body, everything hurts

There is no happiness, no enjoyment, nothing at all

I have been put through unimaginable things

You name it, I have suffered it all

When would this end?

Nothing gives me pleasure anymore

Such a feeling of insignificance and dirtiness

The feelings surge with persistent power

How will I live with this horrendous nightmare?

When I lay down at night I can’t sleep

Am thinking of how terrible the next day will be

The only guarantee is that I will suffer again and again

Until the day my heart stops beating, hopefully

There is no day since I got here that I have not wanted to die

I keep waking up every morning and I don’t know why

I have begged, pleaded and yelled at God to take me

Why can’t I just die in my sleep?

I have almost lost the will to live

It’s as if nothing I could ever do would bring me joy

Nothing matters, everything hurts, especially the darkness

But I am too afraid to take my own life

At least that’s how I feel at the moment

Although my mind tells me otherwise 

I didn’t choose this kind of life

Am just an unfortunate victim

It could have been anyone

All I wanted was a better life

Something my parents never had

Now my pleasant dreams are fading away

I thought I always know how things would be

How things would all turn out for me

I have always had high hopes

But this feeling of hopelessness is unrelenting

They have taken away almost everything

The creator is all I have now

I have given him all that is left of me

At least, then I will die for something

Please #BringBackOurGirls alive and now

THE 'RUNS GIRL' WHO STOLE MY HEART (PART THREE)

 

 

If I was an empty vessel, Atinuke knew how to fill me completely. I have become so used to her that her absence in my life was driving me horrendously crazy. My emotions have been so built around her to the point that it was almost indestructible. My friends say I have been talking in my sleep about how I miss her. I believe them because; she was the last thing on mind every night before I go to sleep.

The thought of her being with another man because I have refused any form of explanation from her made me both jealous and depressed. I should have at least given her a chance to tell her own part of the story. Most 'Runs Girls' don't even enjoy sleeping around; they are sometimes plagued by circumstance or sometimes out of necessity.

There was little or no doubt in my mind that she felt something special for me out of all her body counts. We were like soul mates or even something closer than that. Our chemistry was unbelievable and she was like my dream come true. She was my strength and my weakness all rolled into one.

I had made up my mind to talk to her or even find her if the need arises. Maybe she would have enough respect for what we shared to quit her promiscuous behavior. More so, I was falling in love with her and there was very little I could do about it. I have to follow my heart wherever it leads.

I had to tell my close friends what I was going through. They were wary of my growing feelings for Atinuke because it was gathering momentum each day.

'Runs Girls' also have a heart and they have love in them, sometimes they do this because of the situation they find themselves in. Most times there is no choice for them" I tried to explain to my friends.

“These girls know how to play with a man’s emotions. Don't get it twisted, she was only being good at her job” Bolaji countered. “And she could just be after the money like any other girl. As long as the money is flowing she will be beside you but when the money is gone, she might be forced to go back to her Aristos”. Bolaji himself has had a lot of experience with all sorts of women and he was the perfect guy to run to in a time like this.

“Are u guys saying a 'Runs Girl' is not capable of loving and being loyal to a man? Just because she's a 'Runs Girl' doesn't mean she can't fall in love and be faithful” I countered.

"What love means to her may be different to what it means to you" Charles buttressed, almost in anger.

"But they are like most of us who are trapped in a job that we don’t love but have to keep doing until something better comes along the way" I tried to insist but they seemed not to be buying in.

"Look! You can fall in love with anyone you want but don't mix pity with love” Charles warned. He always tried the father figure in the group. I would listen to him anytime. “However, it’s very difficult because once she starts selling her body, it makes it more difficult to be satisfied in a committed relationship” He continued in his deep voice.

 “Look, she might promise you that she would give up her promiscuous lifestyle to settle for you but until she completely gives it up you must protect your emotions from her manipulation” Bolaji waded in as if he has had enough of my presumed childishness. He continued "Everyone has a chance to turn their lives around and there is no perfect woman out there. She would most likely stop as long as you support her and possibly her family too. If you are willing to make that commitment, then go ahead".

 Despite all the advice from my friends, I couldn't think of anything else because I was gradually getting obsessed with her. I felt a sense of loss even though I never had her in the first place.

There was something about her that I had never seen in any woman before her. There was more to her personality than the mere fact that she traded her body for money. I was losing my mind and I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to stand. Could it be that I was under a spell or something?



(To be continued)

THE 'RUNS GIRL' WHO STOLE MY HEART (PART TWO)

 

It was the last Friday of the month, so I decided to go out with the boys to Karaoke. Not long after we got there, one of my colleagues asked to use my phone to call a female guest he was expecting that evening. He explained that her number wasn’t connecting on his phone and since I used the same network, he wanted to see if he can get through with mine. I obliged and merely urged him not to spend too much time on the phone as I have plans to call my girlfriend later that night. 

To our uttermost surprise, it turned out that the number he was calling was that of my supposed girlfriend Atinuke, which was already saved on my phone contacts as Honey Boo. I was not sure between me and my colleague who was in more shock. I enquired from my apparently bemused buddy, if he was related to Atinuke and perhaps the purpose of her visit was family connection. I couldn’t think of any other reason why he would have the number of my girlfriend who I was yet to introduce to him but the look on his face said it all.

Atinuke was not the girl I thought I knew; she was actually a Runs Girl. The kinds that will make your girlfriend or wife look like a learner. How could I not have known or even suspected? Her almost perfect demeanour denied me of every sense of reasoning and I acted as if my mind was no longer my own. I was now one of her prisoners and she held the key to my poor heart.

For the next couple of minutes I went numb with tremor. A million thoughts were flying through my already clouded mind. I felt sick to my bone marrow at the thought of how many men have shared my Atinuke with me.  It was painful, both mentally and materially. Everyone thought she was the one for me but little did I know that she so loved the world so much that she has given away everything I cherished.

I spent most of that weekend bedridden; convinced that the best way to get over my disappointment was by being somber. I couldn’t stay in my house because every corner I turned was laden with memories of my ‘sinful weekend’ with Atinuke. Surprisingly, she never called or tried to reach me again. She must have figured out that she has been busted and quietly disappeared on me.   

At work on Monday, Atinuke was the topic of discussion amongst the boys at lunch. I was to find out that she also got to contact my colleague Christopher on facebook but with a completely different identity. He knew her as Oyindamola, a Youth Corp member who was serving in Bayelsa State with the Ministry of Power. Christopher was in a worse situation than me; he was already in love with her and had even bought her an 18K Solitaire diamond engagement ring. That was the Atinuke-Effect for you, she is a hooker.

After weeks of non-stop infatuation, everything started to add up. I discovered that women like her are too good to be true. Apparently, she was always on the prowl for young and descent looking middle class men whom she manipulated to her advantage. She knew how to get into any man’s head and she did that for a living. You can never have enough of her and she keeps you coming back for more. Simply put, Atinuke is to her victims what oxygen is to humans.

But many months passed and I couldn’t get Atinuke off my mind. Somehow, my life was never the same without Atinuke. There was no greater or sweeter love than the one Atinuke had given me and my life was incomplete without her.

 

(To be continued)

THE 'RUNS GIRL' WHO STOLE MY HEART (PART ONE)

Early last year, I got a message on facebook from a young girl named Atinuke, a 300 level student of the University of Calabar. Unlike other random advances I get on social media, she was surprisingly witty and had this graceful way of communicating that was very patronizing. She was so beautiful that I was at a loss as to why she would be interested in me.

We quickly exchanged Blackberry pins and chatted late into the night. I was impressed at the appeal of such a young girl but puzzled by the intensity of the entire conversation. The frequent chats were replaced by lengthy phone conversations. Then suddenly, the gear shifted and our conversations became more passionate. She would tell tales of how she couldn’t stop thinking about me and wanted to visit me in Lagos.

It was a bit absurd by my traditional standards for someone I barely knew to be so enchanted. But I was comforted by the fact that my boyish charm was still yielding dividends at its prime. She was very charming too, so why not? With the intensity of our conversation, it was almost impossible to stay apart for too long. My spirit and body were willing but my pocket was weak. So I asked her to come at the end of the month. From my little experience, beautiful women are not pocket-friendly.

On her first night in Lagos, I took her to a house party hosted by a childhood friend of mine in Lekki. The moment we walked in, Atinuke lit up the room and everyone knew there was a star in the building. She had the swagger of a cheetah and her every move was greeted with reverence. I was completely out of my comfort zone and was clearly smitten. It was absolutely electrifying and I felt instantly motivated.

The next morning, I found her sitting unclothed at the edge of my bed with eyes fixed on me like I was a prey. My initial fright was soon replaced by a burning passion, never in my life have I seen a woman so wonderfully made. She crawled up slowly to me and I immediately knew it was time for war. Her sexual maturity was thrice her age and she knew how to get a man to dance to her tune. She seemed very relaxed and in perfect control of the situation.

After what seemed like eternity, she stood up and walked to the kitchen leaving my breathless body in her trail. And before I could come to terms with what had just transpired, she served me a sumptuous breakfast in bed. For a moment, it was difficult to imagine how a woman can have so much mastery in the bedroom and the kitchen at such a young age. This was beyond my wildest dream. 

However, she was not all about the bedroom and the kitchen and fashion; she was also very passionate about the things of God. That Sunday morning, I was woken up by an already dressed Atinuke who as usual had put my bath water and brought out the cloth she wanted me to wear to church. I was purely amazed! 

Throughout the church service, it was hard to tell that it was the same girl who had taught me the lesson of my life in the bedroom. She sang away like an angel and even prayed harder than a warrior. As you can envisage, my weekend was passion-soaked and I had the time of my life.  

Atinuke went back to Calabar the next day but she never stopped showering me with love for a moment. Straightaway, I assumed there was a future for the both of us. No woman has ever shown me the kind of love I was getting from Atinuke. Her birthday was coming up in a few months and I was already nursing the idea of proposing to her that day.

Most of my friends who saw her when she visited were already asking about the new Iyawo and how it was finally time for me to settle down. They felt I have waited for too long and that I was still lucky that God has blessed me with a woman like Atinuke.

I knew I wasn’t in love with her and I wasn’t sure what she was in love with me either but everything felt so good; at least for the time being. I knew that marrying her was going to be a huge gamble but a woman like that was worth every risk. Well, I did like Atinuke a lot but the truth was that I barely knew her. What if she was Mami Water or was pretending at best?

I was completely blown away by her total expression of commitment towards me. Atinuke was in my thinking a million yards of wife material, enough to sew for ten thousand men. I was a lucky man no doubt.

My dear mother was soon to catch the Atinuke-mania. From the moment she heard her voice over the phone, she fell completely for her charm. Atinuke was simply a Super Woman and leaves everyone she comes across at the mercy of her elegance, until one breezy Friday evening in February.

(To be continued)

THE ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF HAPPINESS

Every day we are saddled with the responsibility of making certain decisions that would prove very critical to our lives. Sometimes we are too occupied with the consequences of our decisions that we never ever get to take the decision at all.

This morning I was faced with a situation that reminded me of the two most critical decisions we are all faced with; the decision to either be happy or sad. I clearly knew I had to decide whether I wanted to let my problems get the best of me or just be happy and put myself in a better position to overcome them. I came to realize that been happy was my personal decision and will eventually reflect in my personality. Whether I decide to make myself happy or sad, the effort I put into both emotions are the same. And if it pays me more to be happy, then there is no point to be sad at all.

During the course of the day, certain things will go the wrong way no matter how much I tried to make it work. To be sad about something I don’t have absolute control over is a complete waste of my precious time. So I always remind myself that I have to be happy regardless of how frustrated I felt about what transpires as I go about my daily activities.

No doubt, it hurts when things don’t go my way but I have decided to learn from the situation instead of letting it affect me adversely. Happiness simply sets you free from all the forces of sadness that gets fattened every time you are depressed. This way, you stay more positive and you are able to make better decisions. It is not easy but in the end life is all about the decisions we make.

However, it’s important to point out that I did not just wake up this morning and took the decision to be a 'Jolly Good Fellow' for the rest of my life. I developed the courage to be happy by overcoming disappointment, frustration and manipulation. Everything I have encountered in my life have taught me that I am the only one who can decide how my life is affected by external forces. It’s not how people or situations make you feel that counts; it’s how you make yourself feel.

A lot of things don’t matter to me right now because I am happy. Happiness works like magic because all of a sudden the things you often see as obstacles just get drowned by your sheer will to be happy. You can decide that nothing will ever make you unhappy, absolutely nothing! Life is too good to trade all your happiness for a pint of the sadness in this world. Wherever you go, no matter the situation, always bring all the happiness with you. Clap along if you feel like this is what you wanna do. Cheers!!


#HappiestManInTheWorld

ME, MY DEPRESSION AND I - TEN PRACTICAL STEPS THAT SAVED MY LIFE

At some point in our lives, we may have experienced that period of persistent feeling of overwhelming sadness and total hopelessness called depression. Some of us may have gotten over it soon enough but for others, the sorrow is prolonged. Sometimes we put on that fake smile to hide our despair but deep inside us everything is not alright. Most people will think we are mad when all we are is simply sad. 

I have been a victim of depression and the main purpose of this article is to use my experience to help others who may be going through that dark path at the moment. I know how horrible it is and there was a when my life was filled with negativity and I had very little power to change my fortune.

Let me quickly share my experience. In 2008, I had just graduated from College and was determined to make it in life and was convinced I had what it takes. Weeks rolled into months and there was no breakthrough in sight and to make matters worse I had no money. Gradually I became very depressed.

Soon I became indebted to a lot of people. My debt kept pilling and it was beginning to affect my reputation. I would spend long hours thinking of my problem and how to get over it. After a few days of soliloquizing and self-motivation, I picked myself up and gave job-hunting another shot. But like my previous experiences, it was mission impossible. I would go job-hunting, fast & pray and give alms to the beggars on the street. Still nothing positive happened.

Every morning, I would hope for a breakthrough and at night I am left with more despair. I would feel so tired yet no amount of sleep could take the lethargy away. I felt like my life was moving in slow motion. I couldn't express myself anymore, I became very forgetful, it was difficult to concentrate on anything and I had trouble making decisions. I was locked inside my head and was battling for my sanity. It just seemed as though my presence in this world didn’t matter anymore.

The memory of every past disappointment, unpleasant experience, unsuccessful job interview and failed relationships kept flooding into my mind uncontrollably. It was like I was being hit by a torrent of negativity. 

Suicide seemed like a welcome relief. Yes, I was at the verge of taking my own life.

Many relationships go through turbulent times and somehow they find a way to weather the storm and keep their love going. However, not all relationships have the ability to grow stronger through the turbulence. 

To be totally honest with you; I really love this life but my depression got the best of me. Depression can lead to suicidal thoughts when you focus all your attention on your negative situations. When you take away your attention from these negative situations, they lose their influence over you, regardless of how powerful they may seem.

I soon discovered that the concern was not my joblessness or indebtedness. The problem was simply that I focused more on the negative situations more than anything else that was happening in my life. Once you sink to that level where you are not getting what you want, and you keep paying attention to the fact that you are not getting it soon, then your depression gets deeper and you are seriously stuck. Depressed people dwell more on their problems rather than the solutions. 

I have highlighted below the ten practical steps that helped me get over depression and ultimately saved my life.

1. People Depress People Life can feel hopeless when you are surrounded by negative people. I had to do a lot of work on myself so as not to attract the wrong people into my life. Some people are just parasitic in nature and would usually suck you mentally dry. When you are trying to overcome depression it’s always very important to rally around positive people. They inject you little by little with their positive strength that it soon gets you up to the level where you can fly.


2. Step Away from Your Depression Zone  Social isolation is the worst enemy of the depressed. In order to prevent a setback, I was able to identify that the easiest thing that pushed me back to depression was seclusion. I started going out a lot more and did things that made me forget about my frustrations and gave me a positive mindset. Being a more positive thinker helped me look at life and the world in a way that filled me with more hope instead of despair.

3. Sleep Like A Baby
The more you sleep the more tired you are and the less you sleep, the less sleep you will begin to require sleep (Although less than 5 hours of sleep can be unhealthy).

I discovered that getting the right amount of sleep was healthy for me both physically and mentally. Your sleeping habit and your mood are closely related. A healthy sleep can enhance your well-being and keep you mentally charged.


4. Exercise of Life 
Exercising for just thirty minutes a day gave me more energy and I felt more motivated throughout the day. If you take more time to stay healthy every day, you will feel better about yourself. Improving your diet will also help you feel less depressed.


5. Forgive and Believe
Unforgiving and depression are like blood brothers. It’s like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. I blamed a lot of people for my condition but I soon realized that nobody owed me anything. I was the one who owed myself everything. The moment I stopped holding grudges and putting my trust in men, a weight was removed off my shoulders. I was in a perfect position to believe in myself and dictate my destiny.


6. Attitude of Gratitude
When we complain we are only amplifying our depression. Instead of complaining about my situation, I looked for a more convenient way of escape. Every morning I would pen down a worry and gratitude list. It made me realize how ungrateful I have being and forced me to adopt a more positive outlook to life.


7. Discover Your Passion
Finding a new passion can help you feel like you have more of a purpose in life and can give you a reason to wake up every morning. When you are engrossed in things that you have passion for, you completely forget your condition. I have always loved to learn another foreign language, so I decided to utilize my waiting period to learn French and it was an amazing experience.


8. Cocktail of Books and Songs 
Depression made me isolated from the world but I soon found solace in rock and gospel songs. They altered my brain chemistry and always injected me with immense positive vibe. When I was not listening to positive songs, I often buried myself in books. It was always a welcome relief to read about how the great men and women I admired had to go through similar struggles before they became successful. This would give rise to my first book My Book of Success Stories.


9. Why Always Me?
I always compliment other people for doing something great or achieving great results, but I was rather too harsh on myself. So I decided to give myself compliments each time I did something great. I developed the attitude of always telling myself I was the best and that I was destined for greatness.


10. Peace Like A River
There was no better step in my effort to overcome depression than drawing closer to God. The peace that God gives is far more wonderful and is beyond human comprehension. His peace will keep your thoughts and your heart at rest always.


My dear friends, depression can be very uncomfortable and terrifying but it will pass. All it takes is your time and patience. As difficult as it may be to endure right now, there would be a day when you look back at this time of your life and see it as a great gift.

Overcoming depression may appear difficult at first. Apparently you will not completely get over your frustrations overnight but you will make progress with diligence and patience. Keep taking positive steps and don’t devote more attention to your circumstance than necessary. The more you focus on positive thoughts, the less power depression has over you.

I pray that you find the will to overcome depression if you are going through it right now.

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE NOT FREE

I have often heard the saying "The best things in life are free". A few days ago after some personal experience, I sat down to really think about it. If the best things in life are really free, then why aren't we all over the moon? Why do some people live a more pleasant life than the others when it actually costs nothing to be happy? This is because nothing in life is ever free. The truth is that some things may appear to be free but then there is always a price to pay.

Free doesn't always mean the absence of money. When something is free in my opinion, it means that little or no effort was put into its possession. If that is the case, then there will always be a cost to the best things in life.

Just being alive costs people so much money. It's simply known as the cost of living. Life has a fee and hard work is the price. You pay for life with your blood, sweat and tears. As a living being, you have to feed, clothe and be sheltered. And all of these things come at a price.

On the other hand, the air we breathe is not absolutely free. Some people in this world need to buy oxygen to stay alive. And the last time I checked oxygen is not cheap at all. Also, some of us actually breathe in polluted air which will likely give us away depending on how our metabolism reacts to the air we breathe. So the air you breathe in can prove costly on the long run.

NIGERIAN STUDENT BUILDS A SOLAR-POWERED CAR

Segun Oyeyiola, a final year student of Electronic and Electrical engineering at the Obafemi Awolowo University, has converted a Volkswagen Beetle to run on solar and wind energy at the same time.

According to Segun, "I wanted to reduce carbon dioxide emissions going to our atmosphere that lead to climate change or global warming which has become a new reality, with deleterious effect: seasonal cycles are disrupted, as are ecosystems; and agriculture, water needs and supply, and food production are all adversely affected.” “Therefore, I came up of building a car that will use both winds and solar energy for its movement,” he continued. “This was my personal project because of the problem I’m planning to solve.”


His remarkable effort is still a prototype and not suitable for everyday use yet (The battery requires about 4-5 hours to charge and is so heavy that he had to modify the suspensions to bear the weight of the battery) but it has already brought a new, possible solution to the major problem with electric cars–charging the battery. Solar powered electric cars aren’t new, but adding a wind-turbine to augment the solar charger when the car is in motion is something I personally haven’t come across as an idea before. It in theory, would make it possible to drive and charge at night when there is no sunlight.

Segun is however not deterred by the challenges he is faced with at the moment and is bent on improving on his innovation.