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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU EX: DEALING WITH SEPARATION

The idea of separation seems unimaginable especially after a lot has been invested over a lengthy period of time. People look for a blissful retreat in love; that desire to live happily ever after with the one you adore. However, lovers are quite susceptible to the risk of being separated from their partners at one point or the other. Sometimes, separation can be the best way to love you.

Separation can at times be a decision to set the two of you free instead of constantly reliving the same arguments, denying the same incompatibility, and opening the same wounds knowing full well that you are not meant to be together.


Why Are People Afraid of Separation?Women always find it harder to come to terms with lost love, however badly they may have been treated. But sometimes you have to realize that God removes a person from your life for your own good. Separation can also be a measure of correcting a mistake that was hurting four people; you, your partner and the two people who you were destined to be with.

Some people have a terrible taste in lovers but can't seem to leave them even when they are aware of the limitations of the relationship. Anytime they try to leave, they see themselves going back. They feel pity on their partner or believe they would never find someone better. Anyway, with time you will start to understand that there are other people who can give you the more satisfaction and make you feel further appreciated.

My advice for you is to find your self-dignity and be open to those who treat you with love and respect. You lose a lot of your own identity for the other person and get so wrapped up trying to please them. Life is too precious to waste on people who don’t deserve your love.


How Do You Know When To Move On?There are no straightforward signs for knowing when it’s time to move on but somehow deep inside us we know when something isn’t right and it can’t be fixed. Here are some signs to identify when it’s time to move on from a relationship.
  • When the trust you both shared is suddenly gone. 
  • When your partner puts little effort in making the relationship work.
  • When the same issues keep recurring even after being addressed.
  • When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
  • When your partner makes you feel alone, unheard and disrespected.
  • When your partner is causing you physical and emotional hurt.
  • When neither of you feels the same way about each other.
  • When the relationship holds you back and stops you from progressing as individuals.
  • When you keep justifying your partner’s actions to yourself.

What If They Cheated?Cheating on a partner is the most common catalyst that leads to separation. Having an affair is a very powerful addiction. The longing to be with the other person can be so intense that being faithful to you again is almost out of the question. And the fact that you may be constantly hurt by this callous indulgence means very little to them as long as they think they can get away with it. Unless they completely abandon the object of their obsession, the addiction typically never dies.

In affairs that have low emotional attachment, the addiction is often to the act of having sex itself, rather than to a particular lover. Even casual affairs may be an addiction for them. It may not be an addiction to a particular lover, but to different lovers. Often times, this addiction can arise from a need to be constantly assured of their attractiveness; the desire to believe that they can have anyone. However, if the only way to gain reassurance of their charm is the way that destroys you, then you must severe the relationship.


Is Separation The Last Option?When a relationship stops flowing either because one partner had cheated or the other is just fed up and wants out, there is no way you can hold them back. In the end, it's not about how much you can bear or how long you can endure.

Some people on the other hand resort to having affairs outside their relationships just to give them a breathing space. However, affairs will only cause more pains instead of fixing the problems in the relationship. Many things can be fixed but a sore relationship between two people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed.

Relationships are like glasses. Sometimes it better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself by putting it back together. This is the hard truth.


What Are The Likely Impacts of Separation?
It’s not an easy thing to separate from someone you love. Separating from one’s partner can lead to uncertainty and can sometimes be terrifying. Various studies have shown that separation from the other half can lead to increased anxiety, sleep disturbances, depression and disbelief. Separation can invoke this psychological drive to be close to your companion, to want to take care of them and being unwilling to be away from them for too long.

The pain of separation is intensified by the feeling of personal failure, because people expect your relationship to last forever and open knowledge of its failure may hurts your confidence. When your amazing love story finally comes to an end, you will probably find that the hurt and anguish utterly consumes you.

Sometimes, you feel frozen in time, drowning in your emotions and finding it difficult to cope with the reality but separation also begets new beginnings and opportunities.


How Do You Deal With Separation?There are various ways to deal with separation from a partner and I have highlighted some of them below. 
  • Take a break for a period of time to help you refocus. 
  • Spend more time with friends and family to help you gain self-assurance. 
  • Seek professional help or advice if necessary.
  • Refrain from engaging in any unhealthy lifestyle.
  • Avoid making any major life-altering decisions until you become emotionally stable.
  • Concentrate on activities that will help you dwell less on the separation.
  • Meeting new people will help you become more comfortable.
  • Maintain an optimistic attitude about the future.

Should Separation Be Temporary or Permanent?In spite of the beautiful moments shared and sacrifices made, I would suggest with all sincerity that there should be an absolute end to the relationship. And I would like to also make exceptions for cases where a little child or something similar is involved. In such instances, I will recommend great measures be put in place to ensure that the relationship is restricted to the common interests.

Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the relationship, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to the partner who is hurt. A complete separation can give your soul the healing that it needs and help you take control of whatever power the person had over you.

In conclusion, it is important to note that there are things and people that we may find difficult to separate from. However, separation doesn't mean that it is the end of the world but another opportunity for you to learn to love again. I wish you all the best as you find the courage to move on to better things.



#HappiestManInTheWorld

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