THE LOVERHOLIC X-RAYS: ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME

On a recent trip to Abuja, I met this elegantly poised lady at the departure lounge of the airport as she was struggling with her luggage and I gladly offered to help. We got talking and somehow (not by accident) ended up sitting next to each other on the plane. On my good days I can be very charming, and gorgeous women bring out the best in me.

During our exciting and engrossing conversation, I sensed that my new companion held a very cynical view about men. In my inquisitive nature, I sought to find out how such a self assured woman came to hold such distrustful opinions about the menfolk. She spoke like a woman who understood how cunning men can be and felt there was nothing any man could say to sway her.

What this implied was that someone she had dated in the past must have hurt her so deeply that she has developed a shell to shield her from men and the hurt they leave in their wake. I tried to persuade her that all men were not the same but she said she was not ready to surrender to any man no matter the amount of love he showed her. No matter how hard I tried, I kept getting the feedback that no man was worth her love. I really liked her demeanour but my quest for her love came to an abrupt end as the plane touched down at our destination and she said the most heart wrenching goodbye ever.

There is nothing wrong for a woman who was once scorned to be wary of every man that comes her way. Men will make any sacrifice in the pursuit of the woman that is the object of their affection and when the woman finally melts in love, they start to look for ways to walk away and someday, they will find the justification. There are many women like my companion, who believe that betrayal is embedded in the DNA of all men. That men are always biding their time until their passion burns out and they have the freedom to pursue new desires.

Too many men take their relationships with women for granted, going into relationships with their eyes on the exit. They tend to fall in love too quickly and mostly for the wrong reasons (either because of her superficial personality or aesthetic), and then pay less attention to other serious concerns like her character or background. The illusion of swift love often makes men blind and by the time their eyes are completely open, their affection tilts to the next available woman. This is not peculiar to men alone but for the purpose of this post, my concentration is on the men.

I know it’s not easy for women to continually invest their emotions in relationships with their expectations continually dashed. However, you don’t have to avoid relationships with men altogether. All you just have to do is to be more prepared. You can't continue to remain single because you think men cannot be trusted to commit wisely? 

Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to stop carrying over reservations from previous failed relationships and approach every relationship without been totally blinded by what you went through in the past. Just because you were scorned by one man doesn't mean you can't be loved by another man. There are men who the common rules do not apply to. It is not every man that walks away from the love he has found. 

The most important thing, is to open your mind to the fact that there are many decent men out there. You must not believe that all men are the same and that no man is worth trusting. It is possible to have three bad relationships in a row and find true love on the fourth attempt.  

You just have to believe that the next man is the one with that unstoppable love that you have always desired. For every man that has ever betrayed a woman who gave her 110% in the relationship, there is another man who would give his 150% for the woman he loves. Like they say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.