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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

THE LAMENTATIONS OF A LOVERHOLIC

All my life I have been searching for someone to love me, someone who would make me complete. I kept wondering if somehow that person was also searching for me

When we first met, my world was not what it is today. You brought my world to order with your sweetness. I have finally met an angel on this earth. I remember how I was so in love with you. You said you felt the same way about me. The problem with love is, you can truly love anyone you want but so can the other person

When you said that we would be together forever, I thought that meant till the day one of us died. Now, I guess forever isn’t as long as it used to be. Everything was going smoothly until you were no longer there to catch me. Your steadfast love ceased and your affection came to an end

You became a god who sat upon some imaginary throne and doled out love in small portions, only when you feel likeYour lips were filled with so many lies and fooling me became your greatest pleasure. I gradually lost faith in the man I treasured and trusted

You gave me so much joy and now I cannot control the depth of the wound you inflicted on my soul. You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes. I don't hate you for not loving me anymore, but I hate myself for still loving you and my heart doesn't know how to stop loving you

When you have loved a man unconditionally and lost that love, it leaves a scar that will never heal. It was hard to accept the loss of you but it was harder to move on without you. If I should die tonight and the reason remains unknown, tell not the whole world, but the one I love that I died of a broken heart, not because he loved me too little but because I loved him too much

I am a woman who has seen the sufferings that comes from loving a man. I have gotten to that point where I know that no man will really love me. I have learned to keep myself away from men because I will eventually get rejected.  They will only tolerate so much of me before they walk away

Where is God? But what right do I have to complain after I have sinned against him with my body. He is a just God and his grace has deserted me now. I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings. I have submitted my heart to God. His faithful love never ends 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great stuff

Beatrice said...

No one understands until they have been through it