THE LOVERHOLIC X-RAYS: AND SHE DIED FIGHTING FOR LOVE

They were the last couple you can ever imagine would end up like this. They appeared to be so much in love with each other, even though a few of their friends expressed some reservations about their seemingly fairy-tale relationship. She was quick to remind them that there was no perfect man out there, and all they could do was wish them all the best.

Some months down the road, she gradually went out of circulation. She was a workaholic, so everyone concluded that her job had become very demanding. Soon, there were rumours that she was seen at work with a black eye. That she even spent a few days in the hospital with a broken collar bone. Her friends feared the worse but she kept saying she was alright. She sacrificed her relationship with family and friends just to make things work. 

She kept a sealed lip and was dying in silence because she believed they could reconcile their differences amicably. She bottled it all up, cried herself to sleep and put up a smiling face the next morning. She was trapped between telling the world the pains she was going through and saving her life. In violence women forget their true self. He swore that he wouldn’t do it again and she believed him. But it only got worse after that.

Women by default are very resilient and come with in-built physical and emotional shock-absorbers. As far as relationships are concerned, the women are usually the pillars. A woman will constantly reassure herself that everything will be okay. They would do everything they can to please their man. They would go on diet, beauty therapy and excruciating exercises, just to gain his lost attention. They would fast and pray without ceasing for God to change the man.

Her man didn’t change. He graduated from physical to emotional and even sexual abuse. They usually go hand-in-hand. How could this happen to her? She never seems to do anything right. The sight of him leaves her trembling with fear. She lost her glow and would be admitted to hospital more often. She became devastated but pressed on. She hid her pain under Mac concealers and Prada sunglasses. She took drugs to fight depression that had now become her companion.

She thought of quitting several times but she just didn’t want to be alone. As painful as it is was for her to admit, it is even more painful to come to the conclusion that she was being abused by the only person she loved with her life.What would she tell her friends who were waiting for the wedding bells to ring? If this was her cross, she was willing to carry on to the end. Then, last week, it all ended. 

They were having an argument as usual and he decided to settle it in his typical style. She screamed for help as he repeatedly planted his fist on her face. The pain was too much for her to bear this time. She was pronounced Dead on Arrival. She had a severe head trauma and multiple lacerations. She had lost a tooth and her eyes and face were bruised and swollen. And she finally gave up in silence, a depressed, abused and broken woman.

Her beauty was swallowed up by years of physical, emotional and sexual cruelty. She died for love. Perhaps it was her fate and now she has become a Saint. She gave him the benefit of the doubt long enough and she had to pay the ultimate price.

Too many women are going through similar experiences in their relationships. They hardly share their problem with anyone for fear of being judged. But what shall it profit a woman to be in a relationship and lose her life? To try and make your relationship work is not to pass a death sentence on yourself. When you are with someone who is never pleased, it is time to stop trying to please him. 

Sometimes you have to let go just to hold on to your sanity. Not every man deserves a second chance. It might be your own last chance. Every woman is responsible for her life, her well-being and her future.

Photo Credit: KaynPhotography

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