AN AFTERNOON WITH IBUKUN AWOSIKA

On Saturday, March 11th 2017, the young professionals of the Covenant Christian Centre in Lagos organized a mentoring session with prominent Nigerian business magnate, author and motivational speaker, Ibukun Awosika. She currently serves as Chairman of First Bank of Nigeria as well as serving in the board of numerous companies.

It was a life changing encounter for most of the participants who attended the session. Find below some highlights of the session and I hope it inspires you.



ON LIFE, PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS

“Life is a stage; there's always an audience watching you. More people are watching you than you realize”.

“Your biggest asset will always be people. Everybody that you look down on today, you don’t know where they will show up in your life tomorrow”.

Do all the good you can in all the places you find yourself. Treat people right, leave a legacy of goodness. Always find ways to be at peace with people”. It is someone that will speak for you when your time comes”.

“Do not have a false sense of your own importance, it is a recipe for disaster. Life will not stop without you”.

“Don’t take things in life for granted. Life keeps records and your records will speak for you”.

“When it matters, everything you do will count. The things you do today, someone will remember you for it. And the things you don’t do, someone will remind you about it”.

“You have to be deliberate about your life. Be conscious of how you conduct yourself. Once you have contaminated yourself with some small things, you can't be a player on some bigger stages.

“Anybody can be your associate but choose your friends wisely because they will influence your life. If you follow a fool, it's because you choose to be foolish”.

“Be deliberate about who you give power to influence you. You see people everyday but you've no clue who they are, even they don't know. Somewhere they will unfold. Be sure to be on their right side”.




ON OPPORTUNITY AND CHALLENGES

“Don’t waste any opportunity that you get. Every job is an opportunity to live a legacy”.

“Sometimes all you get is the first opportunity”. What you do with it determines what happens to the other opportunities you will get”.

“When the chips are down. It is what you have done in the past that speaks for you.

“The relationship and the impression you give today is what will carry you through for life”.

“The opportunities you burn today could hurt your tomorrow. Make the sacrifice for the time and season. It shall pass. Prepare for the next level”.

“Do whatever you need to do and do it right. Show up by delivering value, quality, service, integrity and trade”.




ON MARRIAGE AND PARTNERSHIPS

“Except you have come to terms of who you are, you have no reason of thinking of marriage”.

“Marriage is the most critical decision you can ever make in your life. It is a key successfactor to your life and must not be made based on mere emotions”.

“In the end, your partner is not an acceptable excuse for your failure in life”.

“Find someone who God has given the right resources to bring out the best in you. Because God doesn’t waste resources”.

“Don’t be contented with been a Cinderella for just one day and live the rest of your life in misery”.

“Your partner will influence your life. So choose someone that will take your life to the right direction”.

“Marry someone who is always happy to see you emerge successful”.

“You need to seek the counsel and mind of God concerning the man or woman who will be able to nurture your future”.

ON MENTORSHIP

“Your mentors are meant to be your advisers, they do not instruct you”.

“Don't let anybody ever tell you that you are a failure”.

“Counsel is called information and not instruction. Listen to counsel but take the final decision by yourself”.

“All things work together for your good; what appears as failure has a good in it that I might not see now”.

“Don't be so focused on failures that you forget life is a journey. When people think you are down, let your attitude shows you are not. That is the key to your success”.

ON FACING CHALLENGES

“Do not get consumed by your challenging moments. Be available to take on challenges knowing that the whole of heaven is ready to back you up”.

“Challenges don't kill you. They prepare you for places of authority”.

ON COMPROMISE AND OTHER THINGS

“Compromise is short term. Your little compromises short circuits your ability to see beyond your immediate wants”.

“Do not let the world take what money cannot buy from you to give you peanuts. Don't let anyone steal long term value for a short term benefit”.

“Don't let the sins of yesterday hunt you today and destroy your tomorrow”.

“Do not have shades when it is comes to Christ. It is either black or white”.

“Fly the flag of righteousness everywhere you find yourself and do not bring shame to the name of Christ”.

“Be an active reader, make up your mind to learn from reading a variety of books”.

“Decide on the things that are important to you and invest in those things”.

“Trouble adds spice to life. You need it to discover some hidden elements that God has placed in you. Never hold back from taking risks. Even if it turns out wrong, you will at least learn something you should never try again”.

“Sometimes you are the one that has to fight the future that you see and no one else. Because nobody can see your future the way you do”.

“When you know your limitations, it becomes easy to accommodate your weaknesses. Always play to your strength and outsource your weakness”.

“Don't eat your dinner for breakfast. Always learn to delay the gratification for the future. Build for the long term”.

“The trades of the future are not necessarily the traditional ones. Gone are the days when parents always insist that their children must be doctors, lawyers or engineers”.

THE PLATFORM 2016: A RECAP

Pastor Poju Oyemade

"This generation must open its eyes to the way politics is played".

"Freedom of speech when used intelligently will always drive the wheels of change". 

"Words of wisdom are always better than weapons of war". 

"An enlightened populace is key to good governance".

"One of the works of the Church is to act as salt on the Earth".

56 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT NIGERIA YOU SHOULD KNOW

As Nigeria celebrates her 56th Independence anniversary today, we bring to you 56 things about Nigeria that you should know. Happy reading!

1. The most commonly spoken phrase in Nigeria is "How far?”

2. Nigeria is home to seven percent (7%) of the total languages spoken on earth. Taraba State alone has more languages.

3. T.B. Joshua's Emmanuel TV, originating from Nigeria, is one of the most viewed television stations across Africa.

4. Nigeria has produced five presidents from the minority ethnic groups. They include; Ibrahim Babangida and Abdulsalami Abubakar (Gwari), Yakubu Gowon (Angas), Umar Musa Yaradua (Fulani) and Goodluck Jonathan (Ijaw).

5. In April 1994, the Super Eagles ranked 5th in the FIFA World Rankings, the highest ranking ever achieved by an African nation.

6. The Nigerian Stock Exchange is the second-largest in Africa.

THE SURVIVORSHIP BIAS: BETWEEN ME AND LINDA IKEJI

An old classmate recently tagged me on a group photo on Facebook. It was an old picture that was taken when we were in college many years ago. Out of excitement and more out of curiosity, I decided to view the profile of all my classmates who were tagged in the picture. My concern ranged from what they currently looked like to how their life had turned out. Have the ones who were really exceptional in school turned out to become the most successful in life?  

Back in college we had students who were top performers. They were the A students and the envy of all at every prize-giving day. The rest of us would sit back and watch them as they collected award after award. They were hailed as the stars of the future and they were treated specially because of their brilliance. And by every standard they were successful at that level and got all the attention they deserved.

As I clicked on each and every person, I was surprised to see that not every person turned out as was expected. Remarkably, passing examinations were no longer the basis for distinguishing between success and failure. That day, I learnt the incredible lesson that intelligence has little or no survival value. The measurement of success is not based on intelligence. In a layman’s language, a high IQ doesn’t translate to a high net worth.  

WHATEVER HAPPENS IN LAGOS STAYS IN LAGOS

It was one of those cold and gloomy Friday evenings. I wasn’t particularly excited like most people do at the end of the last day of work. A lot had happened to me during the week, and these episodes reminded me of the fact that I still lived in a world that keeps turning in circles. Tragedy, joy, defeat, fulfillment, grief, breakthrough and frustration; one emotion or sometimes more at a time.

On my way home from work that evening, Celestine Ukwu’s powerful and philosophical highlife tune from the 1970’s “Ije Enu” kept intercepting my thought flow. You know how a song just thoroughly captures your emotional state, almost perfectly. The song was a deep reflection of the journey of life and a reminder that our current emotional state is only temporary.

I quickly plugged my earpiece, scrolled through my highlife collection and let the song do justice to my emotions as it pleases. It turned out the song was the inspiration I needed to gradually snap out of the dark place my mind was persuasively taking me to. Its powerful message and melody brought sparks through my entire being. All I wanted to do was to recline on my sofa, be still and feel the anointing from the song until I became whole again.

WHO LOVE DON EPP?

Love can sometimes be so complicated that you give up ever trying to understand it on your own. Don’t get me wrong, I am not some heartbroken person trying to write from the depth of my disappointment. I am just another human being trying to make sense out of this thing called love.

What else do you do when you put all of your trust in people and they throw it right back at your face? Some of them are nice enough to announce their exit, others just walk away without warning or a sign. And for days, weeks, and months on end, you letting the feeling of betrayal strip you of all your sanity.

IF ONLY I KNEW: REFLECTIONS OF A LOVE LOST FOREVER

Every day, I tell myself I would get over this feeling. But deep down I know I will nurse this guilt for the rest of my life. Why did God bring you into my life, when he knew he will need you so soon? If only I knew it was for a short time, I would have loved you harder. You were so good that even heaven couldn’t wait to have you? Now my loss is heaven’s gain.

I remember when I first learnt of your demise. That moment I knew my world will never be the same. The next three hours were probably the hardest of my adult life. I don’t remember the last time I cried but that night I wept all through. A thousand tears will not bring you back. I realized this, because I have shed enough.

HOLD ON, PAIN ENDS

This is for everyone who woke up with their head aching and their heart hurting.

This is for those who have lost someone they truly loved and miss them so much that they don’t know how to survive alone.

This is for those who put on a smile and pretend they are fine when they are actually shattered and hopeless inside.

This is for the girl who feels worthless and too scared to fall in love again.

FIFTY SHADES OF INSPIRATION

1. Take kindness with you everywhere you go and deposit it at every stop you make. Never expect to get it back.

2. If you expect people to be kind to you because you are kind to them, you are like the man who expects the lion not to eat him because he doesn’t eat lions.

3. Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve your peace of mind.

4. As much as you want the best for others, you cannot force people to grow. At the end of the day, it is their choice and their life.

5. Don't waste your energy on things that are outside of your control. Only focus on the things that you can control.

6. Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules and build a life that you are proud of.

7. In life, you will rise and fall so many times but never rise up by pulling others down. On your way up take people up with you. On your way down don’t let them down.

8. Tell everyone around you to be strong, even though deep down you know you are the weakest person in the world. It might not be convenient but therein lies greatness.

9. At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you will still be worth everything to the right person.

10. Whatever you do, never run back to the things that broke you in the past. Some things will never change and you have to accept that.

STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART

You,

Ever since you walked into my life with a ray of sun that has never stopped shinning. I have thought about you all day and dreamt about you all night. You had this mystery about you but I chose to call it divine.

I have never loved someone so much. I can't find the right words to express how I truly feel? I feel like I can be my true self around you. That part of me that nobody else can see.

They say that true love is like a ghost, everyone talks about it but very few have seen it. That is what you have given me, the purest of love.

FOR FIRST LOVES ONLY

Let us take a moment today to remember your first love.

The first love that split you open and made you blossom. The one that carefully unwrapped the secret desires that were buried inside of you and stayed with you until your heart found a home.

He was like your safe, where you hid all your treasures because you thought he would love you forever.‎

You laughed at all his jokes and made him feel like the funniest man in the world. It didn’t matter to you if anyone else found him hilarious.

THE SEXOLOGY X-RAYS: MEN ARE VICTIMS TOO

It will seem strange that in the year 2016, our society has not come to terms with the reality that boys and men are sexually molested and abused every single day. All we hear in the media are cases of women and girls who are victims of extreme sexism. So because men are more likely to rape women, they should be ignored when they fall victims?

As a particular gender, our perception of issues concerning the opposite gender is often skewed or selfish. Women are used to believing that sexual abuse affects boys and girls in different ways. That girls suffer more long term emotional damage than boys. Are we not all human beings?

How many times have the social or mainstream media reported a case of a boy or a man that was sexually molested by a girl or a woman? Let’s face it, men face sexual assaults everyday just like the women. But they are often regarded as the stronger gender, so they have to swallow the assault with pride or take it as a man.

THE SEXOLOGY X-RAYS: DEAR MEN, WOMEN ARE NOT PREYS

As someone who grew up without a sister, it took a while for me to understand women. My mother was more of a man than a woman. The tough job of nurturing 6 boys and her husband was enough to dilute her feminism to its barest minimum. She was the commander-in-chief of her army and I still hear her orders n my head many years after. 

The first time my mother spoke to me about girls was the day I was about to leave for college. Her words were firm and straightforward ''When you get to school, you have to be very careful with girls. If you get any girl pregnant, you are in soup''. Knowing my mother very well, I reckoned the soup would be hot enough to decolorize my future. So I stayed away from the girls but not for too long. 

Over the years, I have interacted with various shades ‎of women that have greatly shaped my orientation of the female folk. No two women I have met are the same but they all share one thing in common. The desire to be loved and protected. Unfortunately, men often take advantage of this for their own selfish gain. I have grown to respect women, even the ones that have lost it. It takes a man to deprive a woman of her pride and it takes another man to restore it.

HELLO SANTA! I WANT ABUBAKAR SHEKAU’S HEAD FOR CHRISTMAS

Photo Credit - Pulse.ng

“Where is Abubakar Shekau?” they asked me time after time, with the barrels of their rusty AK-47 pointing directly to my head. “Where is your leader hiding?” a more senior officer who had been quiet for most part of the interrogation thundered; to probably suggest to me that he was gradually losing his cool. With tears and blood rolling down my eyes I turned to the officer who evidently had a little pity in his eyes out of the rest “I am not a member of Boko Haram sir. Am not even a Muslim (Shiite or Sunni), in fact I am nobody” I implored inaudibly, as I gasped for more air.

This grueling examination has been going on for the most part of nine hours and I was totally exhausted. My whole face swollen from the repeated jabs from either the butt of their guns or their big fists. I was captured along Buduwa area in Bama Local Government Area of Borno State. I was a freelance journalist who had gone to the terror-torn area to confirm the reports from government sources that Boko Haram will finally be defeated by the end of December 2015.

I was on the verge of transitioning from a freelance journalist to the cat that was killed because of his curiosity. “If you don’t tell us the truth, walahi I am sorry for you and your generation” the fierce looking officer who had been smoking what looked like hemp warned. My generation? I thought. 

NIGERIAN FEMALE SCIENTISTS WIN L'OREAL, UNESCO AWARDS

L’Oréal and The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has announced the recipients of the 2015 L’Oréal-UNESCO For Women in Science Sub-Saharan Africa Regional Fellowships. Among the 12 outstanding female scientists are four Nigerians. They were honoured for their work and impact in the scientific field.

The recipients of the Post-Doctoral Fellowships of 10 000 Euros each are:

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SUGABELLY

Photo:Sugarbellyrocks.com

I first heard about this story from a colleague over lunch on Friday and we just talked about it casually and went about our normal duties. It was only on Saturday evening when the wife of my very good friend mentioned it again that I decided to pay more attention to the story. I can understand why most women empathize with Lotanna Odunze a.k.a Sugabelly and believe she was savagely raped by Mustapha Audu and his brigade of rapists as she alleged but there are a lot of inconsistencies with her Super-story.

According to Wikipedia, rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration perpetrated against a person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent.

A TALE OF THEIR BIAFRA AND OUR NIGERIA: THE REFLECTIONS OF A BIAFRAN-NIGERIAN

If they give us BIAFRA tomorrow morning, what are we going to do with it? That was the thought that filled my head as I watched able-bodied young men and women of Igbo descent chanting war songs and causing carnage through the streets of Onitsha, Owerri, Aba, Port-Harcourt, Abakaliki and Enugu in their agitation for ‎the freedom of BIAFRA. It was immediately clear that majority if not all of them actually don’t know what they are asking for. Trust me, they are blinded by ignorance and if they die because of their misguided hotheadedness, their deaths would be in vain.

The sequence of events that sparked the secession of Odumegwu Ojukwu led BIAFRA from Nigeria in May 1967 was quite different. It started with the massacre of Igbos in Northern Nigeria as a result of the unfortunate events of the January 1966 coup led by Major Kaduna Nzeogwu which led to major casualties including the Sarduana of Sokoto, Ahmadu Bello; the prime minister of Nigeria, Tafawa Balewa. It was largely believed to be an Igbo coup that was targeted against the ruling northern elite.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUDGE ME?

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That girl you called a slut today, is actually a virgin for the records. I know you don’t believe me because you saw her rocking a Peruvian hair with lips almost dripping of red lipsticks and donning a miniskirt that barely held her vibrating buttocks. Yes! She is still a virgin.

We are often quick to judge people who do not meet up to our moral expectations and attempt to impose our standards on them. We move around criticizing and searching for faults in people, even where there is little or no evidence to back it up. We spend more time condemning others than we spend evaluating our own actions. Hence, becoming self-righteous judges and career hypocrites.

DON'T WORRY, TOMORROW DOESN'T EXIST

Yesterday, I was worried about what was going to happen today. And today has finally come and I am worried about what will happen tomorrow. I was quite anxious to know if everything I had hoped for would come to pass and if the things I didn’t wish for will pass away.

Why do we worry so much about tomorrow when we cannot guarantee that we will see tomorrow in the first place? We keep worrying about tomorrow like anyone promised us there will be a tomorrow. The only thing that we have ever been guaranteed is now and it is left for us to make the best of it.

Every moment we spend worrying about tomorrow is a moment where we sacrifice the joys of today for the future we may not have. Why worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow can worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own, so seize the moment and enjoy it. Worrying never takes away tomorrow’s troubles, it only takes away today’s peace of mind. If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry it won’t tomorrow either.

THE LOVERHOLIC X-RAYS: RELATIONSHIP APPRAISALS

How do you determine if you are fulfilled in a relationship? Do you even evaluate your relationship, or you just let it flow? What standards do you consider when evaluating your relationship? Are you living in denial of the true state of your relationship? How do you decide when to stay or when to move on? Are you wasting your relationship by being in a relationship? These questions may sound a bit too serious but studies show that couples who conduct a regular appraisal of their relationship are far more fulfilled.

Last week I went to see a very good friend of mine. Our previous meeting had being on Valentine’s Day this year and it was quite memorable. She is one of the few women who hold a special place in my heart. And one of the few people who would look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, even when it hurts. Something the loverholic cherishes in his women and in people overall. She is also very caring, intelligent, devoted and full of humour; all being qualities the loverholic admires greatly.

She belonged to the hollandis category of wife material, and by a lot of yards. This is a fact she always takes into account in her relationships. Which is why she became uneasy when she perceived I was taking our relationship for granted. Things have been going up and down lately and she wanted us to meet and appraise the relationship. To be honest, this was the first time I would hear of a relationship appraisal. I was quite familiar with performance appraisals at work but not in relationships.